A Friday Night Ode to Another Day of {Parenthood!}

 I enjoyed a late breakfast of Shredded Wheat, blueberries and banana while Kai was playing in his exersaucer.

 He kept staring up at me with his big blue eyes and I swear he was asking if he could try a bit of the banana I was munching on that smelled so sweet....

So I gave him a little nibble and, well...

Kai LOOOOOOVVVVEEESSSS banana!

 He had a GRIP on my hand and wouldn't let go if his life depended on it! I gave him a few bites mashed up on my finger for him to suck off, and then let him gnaw on the last little chunk, which he especially enjoyed because (I'm assuming) it felt good on his teething gums!

I'm happy we can enjoy breakfast together. Today was the first of many....

Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one.

Anonymous

Honey has gotten quite attached to Mr. Kai. 

We were staying at our sister's house over Christmas break, and there were several people over and it was quite noisy. We put Kai to bed in the back bedroom, and per the usual, we had failed to bring our baby monitor (BAD parents!).

Honey, who is typically a social butterfly in a house full of people would not leave the foot of the bed as long as our baby was soundly sleeping in it.

She did, however, wander out after about an hour or so...

.

She found Gary and just stood there, in front of where he sat on the couch, and stared at him.

Gary immediately knew what she was silently saying and went right to the bedroom and consoled Kai back to sleep. 

I can't wait to see Honey and Kai grow into {friends}...

Gary and I both had dogs growing up and I can't imagine life having quite as much joy and happy memories without them.

Almost 20 lbs. and STILL mobbin' in the MOBY wrap!

This loooooong piece of fabric is priceless! Today I got my house cleaned (sans the bathrooms which I did yesterday with OUT baby on board to inhale all of the cleaning chemical...) with Kai wrapped tight and snug to my chest.

He LOVES hangin' out in the MOBY!

Naptime (for everyone but Mommy, of course!)

Gary is {such} a good Daddy.

There was really never a doubt in my mind that he would be.

I remember in our first couple months of dating and watching him play and {love} on his little nephews...

and I fell in love with him as I witnessed his {gift} with children.

He let me {sleep in!} this morning.

He didn't creep into bed until after midnight, but

{insisted}

at 6:00 this morning

that I stay

in our warm, cozy bed and

sleep.

He is a {real} Dad.

He changes the {dirtiest} of diapers, carries the red backpack and takes off his shirt and Kai's jammies so they can snuggle {skin on skin}.

Me and Kai, we are {lucky}.

Never fear spoiling children by making them too happy. Happiness is the atmosphere in which all good affections grow.

Thomas Bray 

I can't help it if I need a little chocolate with my wine to propel me through dinner dishes...

 Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

Ed Asner

Baby boy, you have brought us {so} much joy.

You have made our love stronger...

our days shorter...

 our nights longer...

 and our future 

{brighter}.

Things to {LOVE} on a rainy Thursday:

1. PEANUT BUTTER & CHOCOLATE.

Tonight, we are celebrating my sister Kelley's birthday (a few days early) because she is here in town. It's tacos and margaritas at Mom's house! Woo hoo! Mom texted me this morning and asked me to make a birthday dessert, so I then texted Kelley and asked what flavors she was craving...her response: Always chocolate and always peanut butter.

Here ya go, sister-love...

This healthy delicious creation was a cinch to make. Devil's food cake mix (store bought, I'm no betty crocker), peanut butter frosting (creamy PB, butter, powdered sugar, cream(!), vanilla and a pinch of salt), and a bag of Mini-Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. Heaven help us. I'm thinking thin slices and a big glass of milk! (and double treadmill time tomorrow!!!!!)

2. Ok, this one is random...but those of you that know me well can attest that I truly do LOVE these {5} wardrobe staples:

I wear this outfit everyday. I swear. Not the exact garments (well, the shoes, they stay!), but slight variations. My 5 "must-have" wardrobe items: 1) My trusty old black "Chucks," 2) Distressed Jeans (the ones in the pic are American Eagle, but I have a handful of similar pairs that vary on the level of "distress"), My black/brown woven belt w/brass ring and oversized v-neck tee both from my favorite online splurge, and lastly a nice comfy boyfriend cardigan--in a non-obnoxious color like navy, grey, black or brown. Thats it! I'm happy, and comfortable (and I feel, never "in" {or} "out" of style--which is just how I like it...{ambiguous})

3. My BED!

In my humble opinion, there are only a small few things in life that one should truly splurge on. One, is most definitely the material that you sleep on. We big time splurged on our bed. But {when} I DO sleep, I sleep like a baby on our Temperpedic "Cloud," covered in 380 thread count sheets and a fluffy Canadian goose down comforter. I told ya, I don't sleep much....but it sure ain't because I'm not comfortable!!

4. Books by my favorite fiction author at the moment. If you haven't read her, I highly reccomend you give her a try! I'm not a huge reader of fiction....but I get sucked right in!

5. Always and forever, my sweet little family. Like they say, 

We may not have it all together, but together, we have it all... 

(watching the snow fall outside...)

Happy Thursday, friends....

Now I'm going to go enjoy a nice {strong} margarita and some peanut butter and chocolate...

Ups and Downs (literally)

This Wednesday started off beautifully. Kai woke up smiley after a night of {mediocre} shuteye, which is always nice, and helps propel me out of bed and into "morning mode."

I had good energy goin' so I went to the gym--to my favorite class that KICKS MY HINEY! If you want to be challenged, go to the Cardio Interval class @ Club24. Holy moley. It hurts. But, burns LOTS of calories.

I came home, took a nice hot shower while Kai hung out in the steamy bathroom in his exersaucer. I like to keep him in the bathroom with me while I shower because he has a cold and the steam kind of loosens everything up, and he seems to really enjoy being in there with me. Maybe because I sing him songs and draw pictures on the steamed-up glass....

Then disaster struck (I told Gary I was hesitant to tell this story because I didn't want people to think I was a bad Mommy. He said, "well, ya kinda are..." But then kissed me (that retracts the previous statement, right?!)

I was dressed, out of the shower and enjoying a large bowl of blueberry oatmeal while Gary was out on a run with Honey.

Kai was sitting in his BUMBO on the counter--per the usual when I am eating, doing dishes, cooking, paying bills, putting away groceries, etc.

Basically this silly looking throne has been worth it's weight in gold.

Until, well, this week.

Kai is a BUSY boy. He is never still, and has recently gotten real busy in his BUMBO (like leaning over reaaaaaallllly far to one side, or twisting himself in awkward positions.

Yesterday he flipped out of it. Literally flipped out of it. I was washing out his bottles and he was playing with his toy in his BUMBO on the counter, and I heard a {slap}. That would be my baby face down (thankfully) on a pile of opened mail and not anything glass, sharp or hot.

He cried, with good reason. He fell right on his face. I saw the drool and snot all over our directv bill as proof.

I have to admit that I hesitated to put him in it again this morning, but thought that since I was there, right in front of him eating I was in the clear.

I turned my back for 2.5 seconds to grab an ice cube to put in his mesh teethy toy and turned back around to see him out of his BUMBO on the edge of the counter and then falling....

3.5 feet face down onto our hardwood floor.

I've never witnessed anything more horrendous than seeing my baby face down {unexpectedly} on the floor.

I screamed, scooped him up and {still screaming} ran down the hallway to my phone and called Gary.

Kai wasn't screaming--I think he got the wind knocked out of him, so he went from that silent thrashing cry to kind of a subdued moaning cry.

I was crying/screaming and running around the house. I was sure he was hemoraging...in his brain...right there in my arms.

I frantically called Gary and could barely get the words out {I} was crying so hard....

Gary said all he heard was "Kai," "fell" and "counter." He said "take him to the hospital," and then "I'll be right there." I continued to pace in my frantic state.

He SPRINTED his way home (he was at Sandstone M.S. which is actually DOWN a hill from us), uphill and all. He dropped his glove and didn't stop to pick it up. He dropped Honey's leash and just kept going (she, of course just ran herself right home!).

He arrived home several minutes later red in the face and {drenched in sweat.}

I called my Mom. I called my Mother in law. No answers. I called my sister Kelley, who thankfully happens to be here in town and is a nurse.

She came over to "assess" him and Kai freakin' smiled at her when she walked in the door, and she looked at Gary and asked if he had been rolling in the snow.

Gary and I were not convinced he was in the clear. So, I called the Doctor. She told me the signs to watch for (lethargic, out of character behavior, dilated pupils, vomiting) and said to not let him sleep for an hour. Done and done. He was up playing for two.

But I still felt like the worst Mommy, just for turning my back to fill his toy with an ice cube.

[ I spent the rest of the day in an emotionally drained daze, shooting the breeze w/my sister who I don't get to see enough of (she lives in Boise) and having a heart to heart with Gary about our possible move {back} to Seattle (for his work). Bittersweet.]

But my baby boy is just fine, and has not a mark on his 5.5 month old frame.

He seemed to just laugh it off, like "Mom I just had my lip ripped off and sewn back on...this is nothin'."

I'm thinking he has one HECK of a {guardian angel}.

10 things 6 months as (semi-responsible) parents has taught {us}:

Back in early September, I posted a note on Facebook titled 10 things I’ve learned my first month as “Mommy.”
 In follow up to what I learned my first month as Mommy, I thought I'd give a six-month update (well, more like 5 1/2, but 6 sounds better!) from not just Mommy, but Daddy too!

10 things 6 months as (semi-responsible) parents has taught {*us}:*Gary was a co-contributor to this post. I asked for him to give me the “meat and potatoes” version of his 5 major changes (which are in the bold).

1. Gary is now able to watch a movie or television program WITH noise in the background (the really annoying kind, like baby crying or the ice-cream truck music blaring out of jingly baby gadgets). Those of you who have known Gary long, know that he likes NOTHING to distract from anything but the commercials (loud chewing and questions about the storyline included). I remarked to him just the other day that I was “very proud that he was able to watch his game with me and Kai {loudly} playing on a blanket on the floor basically beneath him.” He just smiled like he had just realized that the shift had occurred. I guess it {thankfully} came naturally.

2. Gary is also now not so one-track minded on road trips. He is now ok with pulling over at a rest stop to, say, breastfeed, clean up a diaper blow-out or an explosive spit up without bitching about us “losing driving time” or “now having to be stuck in traffic.”(Where was this graciousness when I was desperate to pee, or craving a gas station pizza pocket?)

3. Gary is ok with wearing Kai’s red diaper-backpack…and my purse, if necessary (and NO he was definitely NOT ok with this prior to Kai). I remember the first time he was forced to carry Kai’s diaper (not BAG) BACKPACK (which I opted for because of the more masculine appeal). It was at the Umatilla County Fair. Kai was like 2-3 weeks old and we just wanted to get out of the house and enjoy a stroll around the dusty old fairgrounds on a nice summer night. I carried my little newborn Kai in a sling, and did NOT want to look like a pack-mule, so as we were unloading ourselves from the car, I motioned for Gary to take the backpack. He looked at me, disgusted, and grunted “UH-UH.” I shot him a look of death that silently said I just birthed your almost 9 lb son in the middle of summer YOU WILL WEAR THE BACKPACK!! ...and he reluctantly slipped it over his shoulders, and said “I’m not ready for this yet…” But, he had to be. And since then, he’s been a devout carrier of the red backpack, and in several instances, my purse too (I think it’s adorable.)

4. Gary is ok with drool and snot on the shoulders of his shirts. He is, I admit, cleaner than me. I don’t care so much about “imperfections” on my clothes, I think it gives my outfit character. Gary struggled with “Daddy marks” on his clothes for a few months, but has finally embraced them…or should I say “outsmarted” them (if we are going somewhere, he will strategically have a designated “drool shirt” on until we leave the house).

5. Gary is becoming increasingly "ok" with “baby clutter.” Gary HATES “stuff” (for lack of a better word) on HIS coffee table. He hates stuff on the kitchen counter, he hates stuff on the floor, on the bathroom counter, in the bathtub, on the bed, in the driveway, etc. (feel sorry for me yet?!). In all honesty, I don’t think either one of us were really ready for all of the “stuff” that the baby would bring into our once {clutterless} home. This is still going to take some time, for both of us, but he has come a LONG way. As I type, this is what I see in our living room: a exersaucer, two bibs, Kai’s cuddle giraffe and blankets on the couch and Kai’s boogiewipes, teether toys and boppy on the coffee table. (And Gary is in a great mood!).

Now Me…

6. I’m (at last) ok with starting a job, getting interrupted, and dropping it, mess and all to attend to my little mister. This is still not {easy} for me, but I can now leave an unfinished project and not spend the rest of the day stressing or feeling guilty about it (what can I say; I inherited my Mother’s type “A” personality…)

7. I can now confidently take Kai anywhere. I used to have anxiety when I had to take him somewhere new and questionable, like, say, WalMart or the Mall, or a busy restaurant at peak hours. I can happily say I am now comfortable with baby in-tow, just about anywhere (I still don’t like to take him to WalMart…)

8. I have learned that there is no single “right” way to do something. People will always have “their way” that is “absolutely right.” But really, the only “right way” to do whatever it is (feed, change, bathe, sleep) is to do it my own way. I have the best results when I do what feels right to me…not when I follow a book, my mom or the lady in front of me at Safeway.

9. I have learned to ask for help. As many of you may know, I have not always been good at this. I like to think I’m “superwoman” and can, against all odds hold my own. Well, I CAN, but it’s not fun…(see, that’s the thinking that gets me in trouble…). It was a stretch to ask a friend to watch Kai for me the first time, and I even felt like I owed my Mom and Mom-in-law something when they would take him for me. My, how this has changed. I have learned that most of my friends and family really do {want} an excuse to hang out with my sweet boy, and that I’m really not putting them out or cramping their style to ask them to watch him for an hour or two while I go to the gym or go to Costco or even better, to dinner with my man!

10. {WE} have learned to embrace ambiguity with {joy} (note my blog title!). It is not certain if Kai will need more surgery. We do not know how much we will have to pay for all of his specialist visits. We don’t know how much work Gary will have on a month-to-month basis....we have no idea what tomorrow holds.

But above all else what being parents has taught us is patience and faith.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.Matthew 6:34 (New International Version, ©2010)



Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 (New International Version, ©2010)

Monday photo montage!

I spent a great deal of my {very pregnant} summer outside working in my yard (just a new hobby I'd picked up being a bit more housebound). I planted sunflowers that lined one side of our fence, and loved watching the birds perch all over the long stems and peck at the seeds.

This winter, I notice them from my kitchen window, still pecking around out in my garden, and I wonder how hungry and cold they must be (I know, they are fine...but it's SO cold!). So...I decided one day on a whim that I would start to feed them. Gary was out running errands so I called and asked him to grab some birdseed. I had to repeat myself on the phone "yes babe, birdseed." He laughed, but, like a good husband, obeyed and brought me home a large bag of wild bird seed (on sale at ACE).

I told him I was going to throw seed on the ground in the garden each morning for all of my bird friends, and that I was going to start saving all of the paper towel and toilet paper rolls to coat with honey and peanut butter and roll in bird seed and then hang in the trees (really).

He shook his head and laughed again.

Well guess what he asked me this morning?

"Hey babe, did you feed the birds yet?"(just like that--like they were OUR birds and it was our duty to keep them fed).

I replied "Uh no, actually...I haven't done it in a few days, I've forgotten. Crap."

"Well, I've been doing it," he said as he scooped up a cupfull of seed and headed outside.

Another reason why I love him.

Laundry is my nemesis. There is not a house chore I hate worse. I would rather scrub scummy toilets...it just never ends. Especially with a baby who produces more drool than a full grown St. Bernard. Seriously, the kid can soak through a bib and his onesie in less than 10 minutes!

It's not the act of putting the laundry in the machine that I despise...it's the folding (bleh).

It's just one of those things, I guess. I'm stuck with it until Kai gets old enough for me to assign it as one of his chores (I now know why I always had to empty the dishwasher for my Mom...).

I spent a large part of my Monday sorting, folding and putting away {laundry}.

Guess who is sitting up ALL ALONE...??!

We spent lots of time on the floor playing with new Christmas presents. We rotate: tummy, bottom, back, tummy, bottom, back...and then when he's tired of those, he grabs my fingers and we walk (waddle) around the house.

Introducing solids...is kinda fun, and pretty hilarious!

What your seeing on his bib and face is some delicious organic sweet potato, that he (after the 4th day) is taking to rather well.

Sometimes he spits it right back in my face, sometimes he keeps it in his mouth for a few seconds and then lets it slowly run out, sometimes he just smears it all over his bib...

I'm doing veggies first: squash, peas, carrots and the like...then banana and avocado...then gonna throw some rice cereal into the mix...and once he's a year old he will finally get a taste of my fave, {citrus fruits!}

Here's Kai showing off more of his independant sitting skills. He LOVES his bathtime. He never cries to get out, I usually have to drag him out in fear of him shriveling into a little baby prune.

I have to say, bathtime is one of my favorite times with him. We always have fun in the bathtub, no matter what kind of day it's been (today was a bit rough, teething is the pits...and on top of that, he's got a cold).

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :)

Kai's in bed, kitchen clean, my workout done (well, today it was workout(s)--i'm taking advantage of Gary not having to be back at work yet!!) and now it's time to sit down and {breathe}.

And that, in a {photo nutshell}, was my Monday.

Things I'm {Thankful} for on a Sunday night (my holiday break in retrospect):

10. Thankful for classes at my gym, Club24. They save me from the monotony of daily weights and cardio, and have manged to keep my weight not down, not up, but MAINTAINED over the holiday (I splurged).

9.   Thankful for my favorite appetizer of all-time. Artichoke Dip (I told you I splurged)! My sis-in-law (Sarah!) gave me her AWESOME and EASY recipe (2 cans or jars of Artichoke hearts, 2 packages of cream cheese, one bag of parmesean cheese...throw in the oven and bake @ 350 until desired texture/consistency). You could add green chiles for some spice, but she didn't and it was to-die-for. I like it best w/bread, but it's good with tortilla chips and crackers as well.

8. Thankful for Things! (SO fun!)

7. Thankful for Hot Toddys. I've never tried this festive cocktail before, and it's quite refreshing (this recipe calls for Brandy and Honey, but we used Honey Whiskey and it was delish.

6. Thankful for two sets of grandparents, and two sets of great-grandparents who spoil the heck out of us and our son. I don't have to buy Kai clothes until he's 2.

5. Thankful for old-fashioned Christmas cards with written messages in them. I didn't get many, but treasure the few that I did recieve, and plan on hand-writing personal messages in my Christmas cards next year. I know, it's much more tedious, time-consuming and taxing but after receiving them, I really do think it's worth the extra effort!

6. Thankful for Bigelow's Eggnog and Gingersnappish teas...gotta love a hot cup of that festive Christmas flavor.

5. Thankful that we live close to both sides of the family, and that we got to spend good quality time all around.

4. Thankful for a husband who wraps my gift, and likes to surprise me. It's so cute. I totally knew what I was getting (a new running watch!) but loved how he kept it a "secret" and melted a little bit on the inside when I saw the look on his face when I was unwrapping it.

3. Thankful for my new Subaru Impreza that handles bomb-diggity in snow and ice. Gary winces at it's compact style, but I LOVE it. It zips me all around town and keeps me and Kai safe and sound (...I didn't even mean for that to ryhme!)

2. Thankful for my dear friend, who is celebrating her 27th year of life today. We go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back, Kindergarten, in fact. We could write a book of our memories (it would be hilarious). Tiff, you are one of the very best friends a girl could ask for, and I have been SO blessed by your friendship. I'm grateful that you live down the street to loan me chocolate chips, go on walks (or "venting sessions") and even sneak delicious sticky buns inside my house. I Love you and wish you many blessings in the coming year!!!

1. Thankful that my husband has gotten to be home. Not just for Christmas eve and Christmas, but for the WHOLE entire month of December---and New Year's, too!! I don't think that has happened since we've been married, and I've loved every second of it...with Kai in my arms, and Gary by my side, things really couldn't feel more complete.

Welp, another memorable Christmas and New Year's are in the books and I gotta admit that I'm a bit ready to get back into our daily routine. The holiday break filled with parties, family functions, appetizers, cocktails and SUGAR is much-needed and so much fun, but i've learned that with a baby on board, it wears on you! I'm exhausted...and honestly, going to bed....right now.

Goodnight, friends!

Welcome, 2011

 ²² Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23 (New International Version, 2010)

A new year. A fresh start. A blank slate. Another chance.

I spent my new year in a “new way.”

I swapped heels and cocktails for sweatpants and a healthy glass of cab.

And as I lay tangled in fleece blanket and the arms of my loves I relished the “newness” of the moment.

It was like there, in my very living room, we were concluding a chapter that we had spent the last 365 days composing, and in doing so we were turning to the next page….

A new chapter.

A fresh, crisp, blank page…waiting for a new story.

We barely made it until midnight.

But we did, and I got my New Years kiss under the glare of fireworks that lit up the sky outside our window.

And then fell into bed with a heart heavy with love for a great God who shoulders all of my worries, and washes away the pain and sorrow of a tough{day} or a hard {year} with His promise of a fresh start and mercies anew with every sunrise.

I spent today with a handful of some of the people I love the most (and yes, I am blessed to say that they are my in-laws!)

We opened gifts, we watched football, we walked on the bike path along the river, we napped, we ate (and ate some more!), we played the hilarious game "Things" and enjoyed being {family}.

It was a full house. Kids, babies, dogs...it was happy, busy, and

VERY loud.

But that afternoon as I laid down alongside my sleeping baby boy, in the cool stillness of a dark back room, all I heard

and {felt}

was love.

Thank you, Jesus for {faithful} friends and family, laughter, hugs, good, honest conversation, a table full of food and the sweet, soft breath of a warm sleeping baby on my shoulder…

for a love that never fails…

And a brand new day.

Welcome, 2011.