32{love}: The End!

There is a quiet

wind voice inside of me.

It's the same voice

inside of you.

Delicate and persevering,

it led us towards each other.

Across desert sand,

traffic noise, solitary sky.

I found your little house

by the sea. And I

never wanted to leave.

The Persistence of Yellow, No 189, by Monique Duval

I LOVE YOU,

Not only for what you are,

But for what I am

When I am with you.

I LOVE YOU,

Not only for what

You have made of yourself,

But for what

You are making of me.

I LOVE YOU

For the part of me

That you bring out;

I LOVE YOU

For putting your hand

Into my...heart

And passing over

All the foolish, weak things

That you can't help

Dimly seeing there,

And for drawing out

Into the light

All of the beautiful belongings

That no one else had looked

Quite far enough to find.

~Roy Croft

i've been calling G my Valentine for six years now.

only three of those actual Valentine's Days have we gotten to spend together (because of his work schedule)...

and today was one of them.

we didn't do anything fancy or elaborate, that's never been our style.

G got up with Kai and let me sleep in (a wonderful gift in itself), there was a card with a thoughtful hand-written message waiting for me on the coffee table when i woke up, we had steak for dinner and wine and chocolate for dessert.

pretty sure later on we will be swapping neck/foot rubs as well (YES!).

but to be honest, i'm not real crazy about the whole Valentine's day "hype."

(like heart-shaped foods and baked goods, rose petals and candles....)

but i do like LOVE chocolate, so one thing i always appreciate is the small box of assorted chocolates.

i remember growing up my Dad would give me and my sisters a heart shaped box of chocolate each Valentine's Day...even when we were old enough to start dating and were getting Valentine's and chocolate from a boy(s), my Dad's chocolates were always the best.

my married preference is dark chocolate with a nice big glass of red wine
(i try to celebrate Valentine's day at least one a week around here....)

Kai got a few Valentine's in the mail this year, which was so fun....and cute!

 I've enjoyed taking the last several weeks leading up to today to write and reflect about

{LOVE}.

It's taught me that even on the most ordinary and routine of days,

love is in the air...

breathe deeply.

31: {loving} ME (a beginning and an end)

ok.

still in a funk about my bod.

but i'm not going to sit here and wallow. that's just too dang depressing, even though a vent-blog every now and then is definitely neccessary.

i spent the weekend in portland for my sister-in-law's baby shower (she's getting induced tonight, and about to welcome in a Valentine's Day baby boy!) and couldn't help but stare at all of the skinny girls all around me who looked so good and comfortable in whatever they were wearing...and trying to remember how that felt, and pondering how i took that for granted...

i spent the weekend trying not to each {too} many carbs...and sugar...

and trying not to look in the mirror...

but greatly enjoyed the company of my in-laws, and loved getting to take Kai out to fun restaurants and places he's never been. i'm so thankful that he is such a good little traveler, he likes to go, go, go and is definitely social (hmmm wonder where he gets THAT?!)

but after all of my bitching and moaning about my current weight-loss plateau, i couldn't shake a moment that G, Kai and i shared on friday, in the midst of my pre-interview melt-down...

Gary had walked in on me...crying and border-line hysterical, drowning in a sea of rejected too-small clothing items. After telling me, "Babe, you are beautiful, and you literally HAD A BABY just a few months ago..." more than once, he felt compelled to bring Kai into it all in an attempt to get me out of my slump.

I was standing there, looking at myself in my {too small} dress slacks sideways in the mirror (isn't it funny how we think that looking into the mirror with our head-cocked to one side will alter or distort our perception????) and Gary barges in with a squirmy Kai in his arms.

G: "Babe, you are beautiful, you really are. Who cares about those clothes, you are getting skinnier every single day..."

W: {sniff} [glare] "it's been SIX MONTHS. i just feel so...disgusting."

G: (in his Daddy voice) "Kai, look at Mommy, don't you think she is beautiful? isn't she pretty??"

K: {looks at me} *BIG. HUGE. SMILE*

W: {sobs}

...and those weren't neccesarily SAD sobs...they were the kind of tears that come out when your heart swells with love, as in that moment, i SWEAR that Kai told me he thought i was THE most beautiful person in the whole entire world...

and i forgot about me,

and was overwhelmed with thankfulness for my beautiful smiling baby boy.

I have the unconditional love of my ever-encouraging, positive husband...

the support of faithful friends and family...

and the big-blue squinty-eyed gaze of a smiling six-month old.

I'm done whining now.

[applause]

But i am NOT done with this baby-weight battle.

After tomorrow (last "Lovers" post in lieu of Valentine's day!) I will begin my public declaration of all things "fit,"as I get serious about not just my weight, not just my pant-size, but my health and well-being. 

I'm gonna blog about work outs, yoga poses, healthy eating, supplements, postive motivations, i-pod playlists and so on and so on.

I will blog about seeking, embracing and {maintaining} a BALANCED, healthy life (Heaven help me).

Among other things, of course...(smile)

*and thank you all for listening to putting up with my pity party.

love{30}:

The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you,

not knowing how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somethwere.

They're in each other all along.

~Rumi

29: concluding a bad day with {love}

Ok. So, I've done pretty dang good with my goal of writing about LOOOOOOVE for a straight month. I only have like 3 more days to go and tonight it's just. not. gonna. happen. (right away, that is).

i typically don't engage in BWD (blogging while drinking) but tonight that's just how it's going to be...

i had the day from hades.

wanna know why???

oh you don't? well, sorry, i'm gonna tell you anyway...

so i had an interview today. i'm in the market for some part-time social work/counseling/teaching...whatever. i'm teaching yoga a couple times a week now at the gym but have applied a few other places for some additional part time work. not that i WANT it...but G's particular trade is currently offering nothing but unemployment wages at the moment (super duper suckkkkky) so, i have taken it upon myself to ensure that our home does not go into foreclosure (ok so that's a stretch but still, the funds are just too tight for comfort).

back to the interview. i'm all showered up and picking out the perfect interview outfit. oh wait, i haven't worked since I was six-months pregnant and hmmmmmm NOTHING fits me (it doesn't help that i was at my absolute thinnest stage of life EVER like right before i got pregnant). i thought that maybe, just maybe i could squeeze into a pair of my larger "work pants." you know, the kind that still fit me when i was FIVE months pregnant....

FAIL. BIG, FAT(!) EPIC fail.

Gary walked in on me trying to jam myself into my once "way too big" dress pants, and the look on his face made me want to crawl into bed and hide under the covers and never come out. i got the stupid pants up, you betcha i did. but...there was no way in hell they were gonna be buttoned. so uncomfortable.

i screamed. i cursed. i cried.

Gary tried to console me and tell me i was beautiful (sweet, but not helpful)...

i called my Mom and she tried to console me by telling me (again) that "it takes most women a year to lose all the weight..." (not helpful)

then i did the unthinkable.

i dug my maternity pants out of the box from underneath the guest bed.

it was the walk of shame that i prayed i'd never have to embark upon.

but as i slid those grey maternity slacks on i knew that i had no other option (i dress for comfort, what can i say?!).

SO. DEPRESSING. (6 months post-delivery!!!!)

i've been working my HINEY off at the gym. AND eating good..not perfect, but pretty dang clean.

i know i've lost weight (i gained freakin' 70 pounds so i BETTER have lost some weight), but not in the ideal amount and time-frame (sigh).

so there i was, in my maternity pants, desperate to find a DRESSY shirt that wasn't too tight on my yet-to-be-ideally-flat tummy....and having a bad hair day on top of it.

all for an interview for a job i didn't want (this particular interview was for a full-time public-service position).

great day, this friday.

i got through the interview (my hair was up in a pony tail and i swear my eyes were swollen from crying by the time i got there..)

i was already up in Kennewick, so i stopped at the Yoga studio and caught a 90-minute Bikram class in hopes to clear my mind and ease some stress.

it relaxed me, and felt fabulous, but i still had a fitfull mind on my drive home...

i wanted Kai to make it better with his smiles and snuggles, but he was fussy when i went to get him (he had a couple of shots today...)

i talked to my Mom and vented to my sis-in-law (thank you Sarah...)

but it wasn't until Gary swooped me up in his arms that i could {finally} breathe...

he didn't have to say a thing.

he just held me and there we stayed, lingering in the safety of each other

holding on to the hope of silent prayers.

And now i'll finish my wine, head to bed thankful for a patient, forgiving and {loving} husband (and family!)...

and put this day full of self-pity and worry behind me...

and hang on to the one thing that has been consistant in my life no. matter. what:

the Love, Grace, and Hope found in the redeeming presence of my forever forgiving Father...who in His time, makes all things beautiful

(Ecclesiates 3:11).

Tomorrow is gonna be better.

{love}28: a penny worth more than a diamond...

In "Chicken Soup for the Romantic Soul" there is a story about a "Mrs. B. Bartlett,"  who reminisces about the long walks along the railroad tracks that she and her husband used to take when they were young and struggling to make ends meet. In those days they couldn't afford a diamond ring--they could barely afford food and clothing for their children.

One day, while holding hands on their walk, they heard a locomotive approaching from a distance. Her husband dashed up to the railroad tracks and placed a penny on them. That night, he drilled a little hole in the shiny flattened penny and attached it to a charm bracelet, saying, "This is so you'll always remember our walks together."

Her husband died some years ago, but Mrs. Bartlett wrote that she still has that copper penny, and it means more to her than gold or diamonds. "All I have to do is hold my penny in my arthritic hands and I have him and that day all over again."

Sometimes a penny means more than a diamond.

Often times the most sentimental gifts we treasure are gifts that cost absolutely nothing.

They are love notes, pictures, cards, trinkets, letters...

just explore your Grandmother's attic, or the top of your Mother or Father's dresser...

where you may very well find old notes, drawings, cards and crafts from all throughout your childhood.

I have an old cigar box full of ticket stubs, leaves, dried flowers (NOT the store-bought kind), notes, polaroid pictures,seashells, rocks, random coasters and scribled-on bar napkins...

the random jumbled contents of that box mean more to me than my diamond wedding ring, my new laptop, my digital camera and my ipod (all gifts that i've received from G in the past...)

the contents of that old wooden cigar box, would be to most, clutter or junk.

but as I hold each treasured item in my hand, I close my eyes and go back to that place. I feel that feeling, I smile that smile....

and re-live the love I felt in that special moment.

so the next time you are tempted to choose an expensive store bought gift over a humble hand-made item or sentimental offering, think again...

odds are, it'll mean more than you anticipate.

source

day 26: {love} girlfriends.

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

~ Elisabeth Foley

{old friends}

we've been through boyfriends, broken hearts, bottles of wine and could write chapters of memories filled with endless laughter, road-trips, {crazy} campus life adventures, school dances, college, awkward moments, margarita nights...

we've seen each other through elementary school, dreaded middle school, the drama of high school, held on through the wild ride of college and relationships, weddings and babies...

somehow, along the way

we grew up.

 there is something magical about time spent with old friends.

even in the {rare} moments of silence, past laughter rings in my ears and the air is heavy with a comfortable, easy love that is only felt by longtime friends.

the minutes fly by as we pour over treasured pages of the intricately made album of {us}.

a bottle of wine. chocolate. 3.5 hours of conversation.

we are different but the same.

reflections of life within each other.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive.

~ Anäis Nin

LO*25*VE my {blue}collar boy...

What is it about blue-collar, hard-workin' men that is

SO dang HOT?!

Let me tell ya:

• Gary is most irresistable to me when he comes home in his dirty Carharts with a grease stained shirt, messy hair underneath a dirty backwards hat, and dirt under his fingernails.
• I don't know why, but the thought of holding an uncallused hand makes me kinda queasy...(I lift weights and definitely have calluses (well I DO!) and am not a fan of having the "manlier" hands in the relationship...)
• You also never have to worry about those blue collar men dressing better than you...or spending more time on their hair than you....or having whiter teeth or smoother legs...(I've actually dated a couple guys that outdid me in these areas...SO. NOT. HOT).
• Blue collar dudes don't have to have a hair-cut every couple of weeks. They let it grow. And it flips up over the side of their hard-hat and is SO. CUTE.
• I also think that blue collar boys are more apt to have chiseled bods, as they are most likely burning calories all day on the job...they are also more likely to be gym goers, too...
• Blue collar men don't bring thier work home with them (and most of them CAN'T!)
• Blue collar guys never frown upon the post-work beer six-pack or glass bottle of wine, in fact, they gladly join you.
• I'd much rather ride in a dirty diesel truck than in the compact cold-leather Mercedes.
• Boots are way sexier than men's dress shoes. Not even close.

Maybe it's just me.

Maybe you beg to differ. That's fine. To each her own.

I've been on both sides of the "collar," and simply prefer the blue.

Nothin' against the white...there's just somethin' about that hard workin' man...

So here's to all you ladies who love your blue-collar boy!

Brooks and Dunn say it best here (an oldie but GOODIE!):

love{24}: the comfortable [honest] kind of love

A husband is guy who tells you

when you've got on too much lipstick

and helps you with your girdle

when your hips get stuck.

-Ogden Nash

There is nothing like comfortable honesty in a relationship.

It's really a beautiful thing.

Sometimes annoying, but always worthwhile.

Let me offer a few examples of this wonderful, freeing {real} love:

The other morning I cooked breakfast in my nightgown. I was making G a breakfast sandwich and the bacon grease was landing on my skin like sparks, so I slipped an old sweatshirt over the nightgown and as I served Gary his warm breakfast platter, he non-chalantly told me to "go change, your outfit. It reminds me of something my Mom would wear." Your welcome, honey.

Sharing a bathroom. I know some couples who appear to "share" a bathroom when really one of them does all of their bathroom related work in the spare. G and I really share a bathroom. Our bedtime bathroom ritual  consists of dancing around the bathroom, bobbing and weaving, ducking in and out of each other's wake...brushing, washing, gargling, flossing, moisturizing, peeing, singing, etc.

I also never shut the door when I'm in the bathroom at home (NEVER. Well, unless we have company). Yep, you get the picture. We've had several conversations that to {most} couples would be too close for comfort. I can't remember it ever being any different...

Gary still snuggles me on the couch after pointing out the drool/spit-up/carrots/squash/milk splatters all over my shoulders, chest, face and in my hair (I say it just gives me extra flavor).

Gary shaved my legs for me when I was too pregnant to see what the heck I was doing. He also propelled me out of bed when I was up peeing for the 20th time and was too exhausted, prego/fat to heave my big ol' belly up and out of the sack. He watched (!!?) me get my epidural  (and proclaimed to me in a quivering voice "babe, the needle's not even that big..."), and not too much later than that, held one of my legs back, and several moments after THAT, cut the umbilical cord (whew!).

Gary is so comfortable around me that he no longer tells me when I have food on my face (pretty much anytime I put anything in my mouth). He likes to just get used to it, and let whatever it may be DRY, on my face, until someone else (ie the waiter, a friend, stranger, cashier) points it out. And then smile, point and laugh.

Gary buys me "unmentionables" at the store. True story.

He forgives me when I wear the same sweats for the third day in a row, get crumbs in the sheets, forget to shave my armpits and even when I have a more-than-usual gassy night. HA.

...and I love him when his face is prickly, his hair is shaggy, he's worn the SAME ratty shirt all week, he farts (for the fifth time) under the covers, smells like sweat and exhaust/diesel, and has had a dinner laden with garlic and onions...

These are the things that make our love honest, cozy, fun,

and real.

And I can't imagine having it any other way.

Love is what enables a woman to sing while she mops up the floor after her husband has walked across it in his barn boots.

-Unknown

love{23}: LOL!

Laughter is the shortest distance between

two people.

~Victor Borge

There's just something about how your heart feels after you've had a {real} good laugh.

It feels swollen, but in a good way.

Swollen with joy, perhaps.

Laughing is definitely something we could all practice more.

We should laugh at ourselves,

make a point to laugh with friends and

definitely take the time to laugh with our lover.

When was the last time you laughed so hard it felt like you just did an hours worth of sit-ups?

...the last time you laughed so hard you cried?

...the last time you laughed so hard you couldn't even finish your sentance?

...the last time you laughed so hard you spit your beverage all over the place?

...the last time you laughed so hard you heard yourself and thought was that just me laughing?

...the last time you laughed HARD by yourself?

Sometimes we need to just let go,

and {laugh}.

22: what i'm {loving} tonight...

It's been a good week. An exhausting week, but a good one.

It's Friday night, and here's a handful of things I'm {loving} at the moment:

Renegade.

This is my current FAVE.

If you like red, you will LOVE this delicious blend!

Buy it here (Walla Walla!)

Spark.

The Advocare energy drink.

{In Pink Lemonade}.

It's all natural AND it gives me that extra "push" in the gym.

I know a couple of distributors, if your interested I'll point you in their direction!

Kai's ELMO Walker

(a hand-me-down from cousin Jude)

This thing ROCKS!

He literally walks himself all over the house.

All day long.

It's cute to see where he goes...

I've had to barracade my plants!

Honey,

my assistant housekeeper.

If you wonder what she's lapping up ever so fervantly, re-read this post....

Uncle Mark's new MUSTACHE (!)

He needed a change...so se shaved his beard off and is rockin' the stache.

He's next to me on the couch right now, and I still can't keep a straight face when I look at him...

hahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Oh, Marky.

The Banana Creme Pie Blizzard from DQ.

To. Die. For.

One of my college roomies got me hooked on banana pudding (I'll post the recipe for that soon!)

and THIS is like a cup of banana pudding...that you don't have to make.

DElicious.

(Honey's pouting because it's gone...she always gets to lick our cups)

As always, my boys.

Kai's fast asleep, Uncle Marky just left and now snuggle time with my G...

Ahhhhhhhhhh.

 I love snuggle time after baby boy goes to bed.

It feels like the Ahhhh you say when you crawl into bed with fresh sheets,

 or step into a hot shower when your cold and dirty,

or dig into your favorite meal when your starving.

Wishing you that kind of weekend....

love21: {hope}

I woke up cold to another gray winter morning.

Tired from a night of fitfull sleep, unable to find a rhythm to Kai's restlessness...just as I felt my slumber setting sail, his cries would pull me back to shore. Another night anchored to the dock. 

Bottles need washed. Floor needs swept. Bills need paid.

Another day of no work for Gary. It's been exactly two months since he's had work...wish we could have seen that coming...

But that's life.

I shuffled down the hall and into the living room, waking up the sleeping house with lights and baby talk.

I turned the hot water on for tea and headed to the patio door to let Honey out (routine)

and out of the corner of my eye I spotted a silent burst...

of hope.

...and then watched as the stubborn clouds sauntered away to pout in another corner of the sky causing sunlight to spill through the window and warm me 

from the inside out.

In those moments, under the warmth of the sun, I feel the joy of a loving God.

{Hope}

...and as I come around the corner and catch the gaze of my sweet lil' man...face covered in sticky mashed banana surrounded by a sea of blanket and toys...

I catch a smile.

The world stops and

my heart melts.

{hope} 

...and then a familiar warm hand grips the back of my neck

and my husband plants a sleepy kiss on my forehead...

and I'm that much stronger.

{hope}



There are days, we all have them...when it gets hard to breathe and our hearts are heavy with hopelessness.

But hope doesn't leave us.

WE elude hope when we get too consumed with ourselves to stop, breathe, open our eyes

and see it.

Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart,

all you who {hope} in the Lord.

Psalm 31:24

Love {20!}: Paper treasures

We are most alive when our hearts are

conscious of our treasures. ~Thornton Wilder

So he DOES save my cards and letters....

(cue: awwwwe).

In the top drawer of his nightstand, underneath dusty unread books and other random things like old phone chargers and tangled shoelaces.

I wasn't snooping, I was putting away his underwear and socks in an overstuffed drawer and simply searching for a more vacant space....

and I found these.

 The {very 1st} carefully crafted home-made Valentine I made for Gary

(my private-Christian college budget could hardly afford Hallmark).

 ...and a few random love notes.

The "just because" kind.

Or...the "reaaaaallly not wanting to write a paper" kind.

But either way, {he saved them}.

(please note the little waving diver locted top-left)

I have saved most of the notes and cards I have received from him over the years as well (filed away in my plastic card tub, of course!). Re-reading them never gets old. Those sloppily written, often mis-spelled words never mean any less than they did the day I ripped open the envelope.

Some girls like love jewelry, some melt over roses...some women want the flashy cars, designer hand bags or and fancy house.

I like a piece of paper or napkin or cardboard with a jumble of {heart felt} words spilled across the surface.

I like flowers...not the elaborate, overpriced perfectly- pruned and arranged in an ornate vase kind, but the kind that were grown in your (or your friend or Mom's) flower bed. The kind that were cut by the giver. The kind that were picked for their color, or particular bloom.

I like a warm hand wrapped around mine, a friendship full of laughter, a gaze full of hope, shared dreams and a life filled with meaning and purpose.

Reflect upon your your greatest gifts.

Aim to start your day conscious of your {real} treasures.

After all,

the best things in life aren't "things" at all.

LO{19}VE: 3rd grade prophecy? {perhaps!}

A while back Gary and I went through an old beat up cardboard box his Mom had given us that was full of his childhood stuff. You know like report cards, keepsake assignments, class pictures and the like. We stumbled across this wrinkled sheet of paper, and as we read, our jaws simultaeneoulsy dropped....

It was written in pencil in 3rd grade "Gary" penmanship (somehow it's gotten worse over the years...), so I will type what it said (I wanted to include a picture of the real thing for proof!)

The paper reads as follows:

I am a future famous American

because when I finish high school,

I will go to a police academy or

diving school. I want to be a policeman

and catch ciminals. If I learn to dive,

I may explore and find underwater

animals. I would like to live in

the country. My house will be three

stories high. I will have one

blacklab dog, a cat, horses and a wolf.

My family will have a wife and

one son.

Um, what?!!

[Gary went to dive school and is a commercial diver]

[Gary ABSOLUTELY prefers the country]

(why we swapped Hermiston for Seattle...)

[We have one dog]

(not black, but I was the one who chose!)

[He has one wife]

Thank goodness!

[And one son]

(for now, anyway...)

In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

Everytime I read that I get chills.

How great is the God we serve! 

I can only imagine His smile

when we found this old piece of paper and

reflected on our little lives and how

{His} plan has unfolded.

I am amazed how He knows the desires of our heart...

and am left humbled by His grace and filled to the brim with His love.

(And faithfully waiting for the wolf and three-story house...)

love{18}: my rapscallionly fellow vagabond...

You are my inspiration and my folly. You are my light across the sea, my million nameless joys, and my day's wage. You are my divinity, my madness, my selfishness, my transfiguration and purification. You are my rapscallionly fellow vagabond, my tempter and star. I want you.
  ~George Bernard Shaw

 I absolutely LOVE the last line of this beautiful piece of love inspired prose.

You are my rapscallionly fellow vagabond, my tempter and star. I want you.

If I had to pick a line to define the {us} that is Gary and I, that would be it.

Let's dissect it (So sue me, I was an English major):

rap·scal·lion (noun)

Definition:

1. naughty child: a mischievous and annoying child fel·low (noun) Definition: 1. companion: a companion or colleague 2. one of pair: either of a pair of objects 3.equal: somebody or something of the same rank or quality vag·a·bond  (noun) Definition: 1. homeless wanderer: a wanderer who has no permanent place to live

My Gary.

 My untamed adventure, my wreckless smile.

My rapscallionly fellow vagabond

of this beautifully tangled life.

love{17}: bloom!

There is no surprise more magical

than the surprise of being loved. 

It is God's finger on man's shoulder.

Charles Morgan

The "love" I write about today is not only a love shared between husband and wife. It's love for a friend, love for family, love for a child, love for a stranger, (love for a pet)...even love for an enemy.

We can all close our eyes and revert back to a time that we were loved so deeply and unconditionally that it brought tears to our eyes and made our hearts swell with gratitude....

It could be the car ahead of you at Starbucks paying for your coffee.

A thoughtful high school student holding the door open for you at the store and telling you

"your baby's really cute."

Maybe it's a generous financial gift sent anonomously at just the right time.

Or someone leaving a plate of your favorite cookies on your doorstep.

It could be a heartfelt picture drawn in crayon on a placemat,

or a {real} genuine compliment,

a letter of encouragement

or a sincere "thank you."

It may be the innocent whisper of "I love you" as a child drifts off to sleep,

or that look of adoration your dog gives you from the window as you pull out of your driveway.

Perhaps it's found in a hand on your shoulder at the end of a hard day,

or heard in a prayer. 

Maybe it's delivered is in the form of forgiveness.

Have you felt that love? The kind of love that comes rushing in, melting every heavy burden away. It's a freeing love, an exhilarating love. It's not just hearing the phrase "I forgive you," it's the feeling of really being forgiven. If you've ever really felt that forgiving love, you know exactly what I'm talking about. It feels like a heavy weight lifted off your shoulders, like the first sweet gulp of air after being submerged under water, like sunshine in your soul.

And then there is God's love. 

A love so deep and real and true I cannot even fathom.

It is this love that is at the root of all other love,

Just take a second and look around.

Listen to the quiet stirring of your soul.

Allow yourself to {embrace} love in all of the ways it manifests around you.

Even in the darkest of hours, it's there...

like a seed dropped in the cool dark soil just waiting

for water and {light}.



love{16}: short, sweet & to the point.

4.14.07
{forever}

The adventure of life is to learn.

The purpose of life is to grow.

The nature of life is to change.

The challenge of life is to overcome.

The essence of life is to care.

The opportunity of life is to serve.

The secret of life is to dare.

The spice of life is to befriend.

The beauty of life is to give.

The joy of life is to love.

William Arthur Ward

{15}: Four area-codes of food-based FUN!

OK, so one thing G and I most definitely enjoy doing together is...EATING!

And were pretty dang good at it..

For day 15, in honor of my current "lose-the-rest-of-the-damn-stubborn-baby-weight" diet, I'm reminiscing about, well, FOOD!

When we find something we like, we both whole-heartedly incorporate it into our routine. This rings true for restaurants, beverages, appetizers, desserts, etc.

Prepare to salivate.

15.  Thai, Thai and more Thai....
Our love affair with Thai food began in Seattle at a funky little place in Fremont--a short walk from my SPU apartment in Queen Anne. After we got married and moved to Magnolia we found a more economical hole-in-the-wall Thai fix. It didn't offer the same ambiance, but definitley matched the food quality. Funny thing, neither Gary nor I can for the life of us remember the name of that place. Sure, they are a dime a dozen in Seattle...but dangit, we LOVED that place (the women knew us by voice on the phone--and always remined Gary to bring me my cup of jasmine green tea, which he ALWAYS forgot...)

14. Pappadeaux.
When Gary lived in the Dallas/Ft.Worth area we loved to try new spots each time I'd be down for a visit. Pappadeaux was BY FAR our fave. We could eat seafood every day, for every meal...and this joint offers the best and biggest (I know, we WERE in Texas...) seafood platters (they make MEAN Texas sized Long Islands, too!)

13. Chinook's
Another Seafood spot....located in the Fisherman's terminal in Seattle (Magnolia/Ballard). This was our go-to date night spot. They had a nice big patio where we would often sit outside (they offered blankets for extra comfort on those chillier nights) and watch the boats in the bay. Gary craved their steamer clams smothered in garlic and soaked in butter....I craved their mahi-mahi tacos. Paired with the right wine (depending on the season, menu, and temp outside), the flavors almost outdid the view....

12. The Melting Pot
We didn't go here much (we've only been to the one in Seattle), although I wish we could afford it. We spent a handful of nights here, all to celebrate something. Pretty sure most of the time we just did dessert (my reccomendation), but twice we did the full course fondue meal and ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man, we were STUFFED. This place is a wonderful splurge spot, but definitely too rich to frequent on a daily basis.

11. Sushi, baby!
We did most of our Sushi dates at Blue C (conveyer belt Sushi at it's best) in Fremont, because it was close by, but if we were gonna do a night out downtown and we wanted Sushi, it was always O'Hana. NOTHING beats Las Vegas rolls and Sapporo Light...and maybe a Saki Bomb or two...

10. Canlis.
We dined here in style at least once a week (NOOOOOOOOOOT!) I wish we could have gone there once. I would always see Limos parked outside of this high profile restaurant overlooking Lake Union when I was jumping on highway 99 from Queen Anne on my way to Gary's (ghetto) apartment. I always wondered if anyone famous was dining inside, and sometimes held up traffic trying to crane my neck to see if I would recognize anyone ducking into their stretch limo. Over here in the 5-0-9 we have a Canlis restaurant of our own, it's located in always classy YakiVegas, please, check it out! :)

9. Farmer's Kitchen
This is our FAVE home-town (Hermiston) date-spot. Totally worthy of the drive from surrounding areas. Great brews, good wine, SCALLOPS TO-DIE-FOR...fun, relaxed, candle-lit cozy environment.

8. HOT DOGS.
Not the flimsy kind from the plastic pack. The kind you can only find after 11 pm outside big city bars. Not with ketchup and mustard. Oh no. Ketchup, mustard, CREAM CHEESE, GRILLED ONIONS, JALAPENOS AND SAUERKRAUT. Holy heart-attack of goodness in a bun (better after one-too many beverages, eaten in a bumpy cab ride home and smeared all over your face and all over your clothes...just sayin').

7. Bubble Tea!
My college roomies introduced me to this fun frozen beverage. It's huge bubbles of tapioca in your choice of fruity flavored icy goodness. Who would have thought chewy tapioca bubbles sucked through huge colorful straws could ever be such fun?!

6. Garlic Fries.
But only sitting in the center field sunshine of SafeCo field washed down with a cold Miller Lite. Bad breath for days, but soooooooooooo worth it.

5. P.F. Chang's
Two words: LETTUCE WRAPS. If you haven't tried them, DO.

4. Hills Restaurant
Best Bloody Marys and Tri-City hangover breakfast (according to us, anyway--we could be biased because they are family...).

3. Traditions Buffet at Wildhorse Resort & Casino
But only on Thursdays for the all-you-can-eat SEAFOOD Buffet. Can you say ALASKAN KING CRAB???

2. Taco Truck.
In our home, it's "Taco Truck Friday." If we find ourselves home on Friday evening, we enjoy a platefull of asada tacos and delicious torta from our favorite local taco truck. Sometimes with lemon-lime Jarritos, sometimes Corona w/lime.

1. Drive thru Daiquiri stands.
I swear. Texas. It should be it's own country.

And on that note, I digress.

Off to bed I tredge with drool on my chin and a grumbling tummy...

love14: slowing down and {spending} time.

Each day is a little

{life}.

- Aruthur Schopenhauer

Work-related stress. Crying babies. Approaching deadlines. Annoying co-workers. Longer-than-life to-do lists. Dirty dishes. Piled-up laundry. Stacks of bills. Dog that needs a walk. Meals that need to be cooked. Taxes. Diapers. Dirt. Tears.

Can't stop-to-catch-your-breath days.

Can't sleep-too-much-on-the-brain-nights.

Sometimes it's almost as if we are on a never-ending vicious cycle-of-scheduled time ferris wheel ride.

Day in and day out, it just keeps spinning round-and-round and from the top we glance down to the ground and see others...frolicking in the grass below, holding hands with a loved one and sharing nibbles of candy apples and cotton candy. 

We want off the ride...but how?

Remind yourself  to slow down. Take a deep breath. Spend quiet moments thinking about what's {real}. 

What {really} matters?

Clear out the clutter in your mind. Put it off until tomorrow. Take the day off. Schedule a day just for you. Pamper yourself. Book a weekend get-away with your signifiant other. Plan a fun surprise for the kids. Spend a day just hanging out with family.

This is how memories are made,  priorities are rightfully restored, and flames are rekindled.

It doesn't have to be expensive, elaborate or over-the-top.

So spend time.

Make sacrifices.

Get off the ride... 

Tommorow can wait for tomorrow.

Get out and enjoy life {together}.

{Spend} the afternoon.

You can't take it with you.

 -Annie Dillard