my fave summer use for wine bottles and my LEAST fave mommy duty....

ok. i'll get the bad one out of the way.

this whole mommy business has been all-in-all, life changing-ly wonderful.

however, there are a few not-so-wonderful things that i managaged to skip over in the fine print of mommyhood that have taken me by surprise.

poopy diaper explosions? expected. eating dirt? expected. licking the floor? expected. putting everthing into mouth? expected. peeing all over the place for the .5 seconds that diaper is off? expected.

cleaning up recreational throw-up from gagging fascination? no so much.

i don't know if he does this for attention or what but I'M SICK (literally) of it!!

he's shoved his finger down his throat and kind of enjoyed his bodies response (the gag) for awhile now....but recently (like just this week) he has taken it to a whole new level.

the first time it happened he was playing with his toys after breakfast. i was in the kitchen flinging chunks of his leftovers onto the floor for Honey to eat (ha!) when i heard it. the gag. i peeked my head around the corner just in time to see him empty his stomach projectile-style. all over his toys, clothes and floor. gross.

thankfully, that one was an easy clean up (this is where wood floors come in quite handy!)

#2 SAME DAY. it was bedtime and I. WAS. EXHAUSTED. Kai was clean and in his jammies and we were all snuggled up in his rocker under one of his soft blankies. i went to put the bottle in his mouth an somehow he slipped a finger in ahead of the nipple and yep, you know what happened next. all over him. all over me. all over the rocker. all over the blankie. ALL OVER THE DANG CARPET. this one was the worst. dinner was broccoli and beef (kill me). i was so tired and wanted to just shut his bedroom door and have him sleep with me and pretend like it never happened (it's moments like this that i despise my husband's job and kind of despise him for never being around to deal with self-inflicted chunky puke). poor Kai. i know, he did it to himself...but he looked so pitiful and sad all covered in his own throwup...and still so cute. i awkwardly maneuvered him to the bathtub where i stripped off his soiled pjs. all the while i'm trying to brainstorm how i'm going to undertake the massive clean up effort that awaits in his room...with OUT him crawling all up in it. i decided to only let the bath fill up slightly and went and grabbed a random handful of his "non-bath" toys and chucked them in the water. he thought that was fun and while he was driving his cars under water and playing soccer with his hands i was frantically scrubbing the chair and floor, airing out the room, starting the laundry while, of course popping my head in the bathroom every chance i could get to ensure the safety of my little red rebel. soon everything was clean (but me, of course) and we were fast asleep.

as i type this blog Kai is napping. in puke. yep, that's right. call me the world's worst mommy but i'm not waking him up from his sound sleep just so i can rip the sheets off and then put fresh ones on and go through the whole naptime routine again...only to have him NO longer want a nap. he was in there singing his sleepy song and i'll admit, i heard a gag/cough which does happen without vomit most the time. AND, it's been a few days since the horrible day aforementioned so i assumed i was safe. nope. i went in to check on him and my optimism was defeated by the damp puddle of breakfast at the foot of his crib (sorry). you think i'm cruel to leave it? and him? well, here's my defense: he wasn't sleeping in it, it wasn't on him (just a little on his foot), and like a smart boy he was sleeping at the complete opposite end of the crib. i'll assess the damage and begin the clean-up effort when he wakes up.

this gagging business has got to stop. like every question i have without an answer, i conducted a google search in hopes of an explanation or at least other mommies with similar struggles and thanks to a handful of mommy discussion boards, i now know that i am not alone.

one mom suggested dipping babies fingers in apple cider vinegar in effort to keep his fingers from the back of his throat. bleh! i'm not that desperate yet. one curious trend i did note in my research (google research!) was that it was mainly BOYS that were practicing the "gag for fun" game. weird. many Moms also noted that their Dr.'s said it was a boredom/curiosity/self-stimulation fixation that they would eventually grow out of.

i'm honestly not worried about Kai. he'll kick it eventually.  i just don't want to clean up any more messes like that...but it's inevitable, there will be more puke in my future, self-induced or not. and if there is such a thing as karma, i'm screwed because i was the kind of puker that never made it to the toilet. i just leaned over the bed and yelled for mom (she reminded me of this yesterday. dangit.).

so yes, this is one part of parenthood that stinks. literally.

now on to something to refresh our minds and cleanse our senses...

 i have a ton of rosebushes on the side of my house that quite frankly, often go unnoticed. they yield the most vibrant, beautiful blooms that just burst and fade to the ground without anyone to enjoy them. not this year.
i've vowed to visit my side rosebushes a few times a week to trim them down and extract the rose buds that have bloomed and keep them in my house!

 and there is no better home for a beautiful rose than a colorfully labeled (empty) wine bottle....

good thing my house smells like roses. i have a mess to clean up...

my life in 10 (clearing out the blackberry)

1. goats. oh my gosh, i LOVE goats! i keep telling Gary how much i want goats when we buy our next house "with land" like we always say. they are too cute. kind of like a cross between cows and dogs. these goats live just down the street from us and i have made it a habit to walk by them every time Kai, Honey and i are out for walks. Kai laughs at them and Honey barks at them and i feed them!

seriously, how cute are they???

 look at the little babies!

2. cards & letters addressed to Kai! Kai has gotten several items in the mail over this last year. we usually walk out to get the mail together and i always make a big deal if there is something in there for him. we go inside, i help him open it and read it to him (a few times) and then i let him play with it. and it's SO cute, because he holds onto it and plays with it like he knows it's just for him.

this is a postcard from his cousin Spencer who lives in Gig Harbor.

we are going to write him back!

3. strawberries. but not just ANY strawberries, strawberries from MY GARDEN! i probably only got a handful of berries from my plants last year. this year i'm getting handFULLS every day....and a certain little red-haired boy has learned that the red berries hanging from the green plants outlining mommy's garden taste YUMMMMY!

i love having fresh, home-grown berries for my morning oatmeal...

4. dirt. Kai is a magnet to dirt. this is good and bad. i like that he is easily (and cheaply!) entertained. i do NOT like that it usually ends up in his mouth and/or all over my floor.

 the aftermath...(this plant has been relocated)

5. ants on a log! this has been my healthy alternative go-to snack as of late. celery with a schmear of almond butter and a sprinkle of raisins. YUM. i use the same toppings on bananers as well and it's even better!

6. watching Kai morph into a socialite. i could watch him interact with friends and cousins all day. it cracks me up! he is learning so much and growing into such a little man...sigh. almost one!

7. if there is water around, he's in it. even if he has no change of clothes or swim diaper handy. this is the birdbath/fountain in the garden at Grandma G's house that he HAD to be in.

i {love} that cute little bum!

8. workin' it out from home. because G's been over on the westside for work and will be for most likely the remainder of the summer (sad, but at least he gets weekends off which is more than i can say when he was workin' offshore!!) i have not had convenient childcare to get to the gym. which sucks. but has forced me to adapt and take full advantage of Kai's long morning naptime (which ranges from 1.5-3 hours). i am kind of a workout video snob. if it doesn't really challenge me and make me sweat i feel ripped of. well this dvd kicks my a-double-s...and i'm sick and twisted and LOVE IT. i'm just getting into week 2 and can't wait to see the results at the end of 4!

9. picture mail. i love getting picture texts. it's like getting the gift of a shared moment. this particular picture message was sent to me by my lovely sister Kelley Jayde who has recently graduated from a very vigorous nursing program (woo hoo!) and just took an exam she has spent hundreds of hours studying for. here was the adorable text accompanying the picture:

homemade spring rolls and wine...waiting for my test results to show up online...

you send pics of your child and i sent you pics of food :)

um, yum. the girl sure can cook.

(i unfortunately did not inherit that gene).

10. my job. i've spent the year serving as the GED testing coordinator for BMCC- Hermiston. i love this job. like school counseling, it is busy, sometimes stressfull, fast-paced, unpredictable and allows me to work with and get to know a very diverse group of people. all things i thrive for within an occupation.

here is a young gentleman who has come in for testing several times this spring.

he didn't get all five exams taken in time to walk at his graduation, but he came prepared with cap and gown to "walk home" should he reach that goal, and tonight he did.

this was a proud moment.

we had a little celebration for him in the testing room and he's now en route to the Art Institute of Portland. 

*picture publishised w/permission, of course! :)

and that, my friends, is my life in 10.

bad days and why i love sunflowers

some days are just bad.

 bad news, bad health, bad attitude, bad kids, bad boss, bad_______.

we each have our own battles and have experienced the empty feeling that arrives

when our hope and joy deflate after a day thats just, well, bad.

 we cry when the pool of life gets too cold.

 we worry and live in fear of the tomorrow that will inevitably approach, our stress like sharp teeth threatening to puncture our hope.

and we cry.

sometimes hard, sometimes quiet and alone.

and we sulk and pout

and let apathy rob us of moments that should be treasured, enjoyed, {lived}.

we all have days, sometimes weeks, and even months like this.

.............

{via}

rain pours, clouds multiply, wind picks up...

storms rage.

but never does the sunflower stop seeking the sun.

even on dreary days (like today) i peek out my window and see the young stalks leaning toward the small beams of light fighting to burst through the heavy gray cloud cover.

sunflowers, are resilient.

hopeful in effort and stong in stature.

what if we were seekers like our friend the sunflower?

and on the dreariest of days CHOSE to turn our face towards the cloud-covered light...

that light that we can't see but know is there.

it is that light that warms and awakens the depths of our tired soul and plants seeds of hope

that grow even the most impossible situations into something vibrant and beautiful.

..............

“We will find grace to help us when we need it.” 

Hebrews 4:16, NLT

..............

we don't have to know what lies ahead.

we can rest assured that in the midst of our storm, we will find grace.

not "can," not "should," but WILL.

...and with grace comes the strength to stay rooted firmly in faith, and like the sunflower,

the stamina to hold an unshakeable gaze steadily focused on The Son.

You will find grace to help you when you need it.

kai's first trip to the sea...

"The sea, once it casts it's spell,

holds one in it's net of wonder forever."

~Jacques Cousteau

  we knew Kai would love the ocean,

and have looked forward to his first visit to a place that has

always been so sacred and special to us...

he had the time of his life crawling around in the sand...

and playing with beach toys!

 we even took him down to the water, where he wanted to dive right in!

it was cold, but we let him wade in the waves....

and he got wet and turned into a sandy mess...

and kept putting pieces of the wet sand IN HIS MOUTH (of course)!

he dug, and crawled, and splashed and played so hard...

 that he crawled his dirty little body right up into mommy's lap

and drifted into peaceful sleep

to the sounds of crashing waves, seagulls and laughter.

just as he should.

carseat chronicles.

since the birth of baby boy we really haven't traveled much. well, G has for work but me...not so much. shoot, the last time i even flew on an airplane was when i went to BRAZIL for spring break of 2009!

however, the travel miles we have logged with a newborn/toddler is certainly no small feat. it's exhausting enough just packing up to go to the grocery store, so preparing or even envisioning a trip that requires hours of travel time (carseat time) and packing to sufficiently accomodate baby needs at either a hotel or guest home is quite intimidating (prepared mom's must always pack for worst-case scenario!).

here is a sample list i'd make for just a weekend get-away:
(with something neccesary inevitably missing!)

• bottles (several), formula, baby food (jars AND fresh in a cool-pack), quick (clean) snacks for the drive, sippy cup, bibs
• several changes of clothes because crawling babies get dirty and ALL babies have diaper blow-outs!
• bath stuff (baby shampoo, lotion, wash cloth, towel)
• diapers, diapers and more diapers. wipes, diaper rash cream
• pack-n-play AND several blankets
• stroller
• travel toys (just a few)
• and something i FORGOT but will never forget again when staying in a hotel: dish soap to wash bottles!!!!

....and then I have to think about packing for myself, and by that time i'm so flustered and tired i forget things like my hair straightner, socks, a jacket, etc.

i think the actual travel time is actually easier the more newborn the babe is, because once they are independently mobile and becoming increasingly vocal it takes more effort to keep them entertained/quiet. AND newborns sleep WAYYYY more, which is ideal for travel. kai takes naps, but is definitely awake for the majority of the travel time.

but we've done it. mostly weekend trips over our beautiful native northwest region (boise, portland, wenatchee, etc.), nothing major.

it's undoubtedly tiring, but always a fun adventure.  

this most recent adventure was the most fun yet. i attest this to 10 months of "packing practice" trial and error AND the fact that, well, Kai is just starting to really enjoy new experiences!

G is working in Vancouver (WA), possibly for a month or longer. we had tenatively planned to spend the long weekend in seattle, but with the condition of my allergies/sinuses and the on-call nature of the job he's on, we both decided the best bet was for us to stay close to his job site....AND the fact that we had parents heading that direction for the weekend was even more of a deciding factor because that meant i didn't have to drive and would be free to keep the little stinker happy and occupied QUIET! (woo hoo!)

kickin' back and sippin'...

i'm happy to report that Kai did not have one SINGLE carseat tantrum/melt-down. he got close, though. twice. both towards the tail ends of the destination (enoughs enough!) but he never reached his breaking point.

why, you ask?

#1

 #2

 SUCKERS!!!!!!!

see, Kai really hasn't been introduced to any kind of non-fruit based sugars and, well, desperate times called for desperate measures. it was definitely an enjoyable experience watching him enjoy his sticky, sugary treats. he kept shoving it toward me, wanting to "share." so cute. he literally sucked them both down until i was forced to finish them off due to jagged edges. some parents may frown upon this, but ya know what? I'D I WILL DO IT AGAIN!

{almost} meltdown #2 began at the LONGEST stretch of the drive home from Portland. you know, that dreadful stretch of dry desert highway that extends from Arlington to Boardman to the Hermiston exit. bleh. i DESPISE that part of the drive! and, ofcourse Kai did too. I'd kind of hoped that he would fall asleep after we stopped and ate in Hood River, but, no. he fought and fought and fought sleep, but was quite content until the barren stretch. then i broke out the sucker, hoping that would get us home.

 the little stinker fell asleep literally right when we pulled into the Hermiston city limits.

You can learn many things from children. 

How much patience you have, for instance. 

~Franklin P. Jones

sick day for mommy, play day for baby...

 $1 marble green bouncy ball from walmart = hours of entertainment for lil' mr.

bleh. i HATE being sick. the last two days have been a blur as my world has been clouded by a killer combo of allergies and sinus infection. super duper sucky. especially because GARY IS WORKING IN VANCOUVER and i'm single mommy status. make that SICK single mommy status. yeah, not very much fun. i think i caught it from Kai. he's just getting over it so we're both snotty messes. i'm trying my best to pull it together and nurse myself back to health so i can ENJOY the long weekend, instead of sleep off this death virus in bed....

pending G's work schedule and my immune system, we plan to spend the weekend in SEATTLE!!! it's long overdue that i give Kai a taste (ha! read on...) of my favorite US city. yeah, i'm praying, poppin' vitamin C's and slingin' back alkaselzers like nobodys business.

ANYWAY, the world does not stand still (unfortunately) when mommy's feeling under the weather. and Kai can only entertain himself in the the house for so long. so i thought today would be a good day to move his little play junglegym from his room into the backyard so he could expend some energy on that in the wide open spaces opposed to the cramped quarters of his room.

we spent almost two hours outside. i'm SO happy that Kai has decided he can handle the feel of grass on his hands, because for awhile there, he refused to crawl in the grass. well, that's now a thing of the past. he's all over the place out there. i just wish he'd stop putting everything of interest to him in his darn MOUTH. seriously, here is the shortlist of what i extracted from his chompers just in the short while we were out: rocks, dirt, bark, mushrooms, flowers, leaves, honey's toys/bones....and i don't want to know what i missed.

but on the brightside, we had lots of laughs and it felt good to absorb some vitamin d and get some fresh air (thanks, Kai!). here's some snippets of the highlight of my sick-day:

 hoping the worst of this bug/allergy attack is OVER.

here's Kai trying to get me to drink some fluids...

Question of the day:

when do babies STOP putting everything into their mouth?

oh, and any tried and true remedies for head colds? cause' i'm totally game....

cousins & cars: a day in the life of kai

we got to babysit this morning! it was fun...and tiring (for Mommy!). props to all those moms out there who have less than a year between kiddos. sheesh.

anyway, crazy to think that these two will be in the same grade in school.

he's already lookin' out for her....

pretty lil' Parker Jo

Kai LOVES baby PJ.

he is SO gentle with her. her little tiny foot was poking out of her little sleep sack and Kai bent down and gave it a kiss! melted my heart...

here's Kai driving his car around Parker. he has a major obsession with anything with wheels right now. this particular car, however, is his favorite (this week). the wheels make a clicking noise when they turn, which he seems to really like. he's also started making "vroom-vroom" car-like noises when he's driving his trains, planes and automobiles across the floor.

he's growing up too fast (tear).

for your viewing pleasure i've included a short clip of his newfound love of driving (turn up the volume when he gets close to the fridge and you can hear his cute car noises!):