Probably TMI: A peek into the {not-so-glamorous} side of parenting (NOT for the weak in stomach)

Alright. Just so you know, this is NOT about the actual birth part. That would be overboard, although I could insert several examples of how it is definitely, at points, unglamorous.

This is just the honest truth about spit-up, poop and some other gross stuff. Ha.

POOP.

I worked in Seattle as a nanny pretty much throughout my entire almost four years there. None of the infants I nannied for pooped half as much as my Kai (we don't call him "stinker" for nothin'!)

No one told me how much poop there would be. Especially when I was breastfeeding. Holy schmoley he pooped after each feeding (which was literally like every 2-3 hours).

He doesn't poop like that anymore. It's twice a day at the most now...but he makes up for it in, well...content?!

He is wearing the correct size of diaper but somehow manages to poop OUTSIDE of it at least once a week. The worst one was in his carseat on the way back from Seattle. It was all the way up his back and when I went to take his shirt off it got all over his head and then he stuck his foot in the messy diaper as I was changing him (he does this ALL the time, I swear it's a game to him: "Try to get my feet into the warm squishy diaper..."). If I was anywhere near a sink or bathtub he would have been in it. But I just had to give him a "wipe bath," which is, well...gross.

Ok, now "poop" is about to get real...(haha, get it?!)

I have a bad dirty habit. It's how I "check" Kai's diapers.

I'll be the first to admit, I'm no clean freak. No, I don't live in a dump and no, I don't smell like garbage or B.O. or old soup. But, I don't mind dirt, not showering twice a day or, say, sticking my finger in Kai's diaper to see if he's poopy instead of taking his shoes off, socks off, pants off just to peek into what could be a still {dry} diaper. It's just not worth it. I just stick my finger down his diaper to see what I run into...haha, yep I just admitted that.

Gary (and anyone else who has seen me do it) cringe. I don't care. If I do get a little bit of poop on my finger I just wash my hands!

But....this "poop checking" method HAS proven to be, well, problematic at times (but far less than the time it's saved me!).

Like the time I did the poop check at night...and was so overwhelmed with fatigue that I forgot I'd had a positive poop check...and woke up with some dry poo on my forehead. Unfortunately I was not the first to catch it. Gary asked what the "boogers" were on my forehead. Um, yeah.

And then the time when I accidently got some poop from a VERY positive poop check on my workout pants...and then forgot it was there UNTIL I got to the gym and was stretching AFTER an hour long class. Oops.

Please don't run from me if you see me around town. I promise I wash my hands AND clothes. I'm just a new, tired Mommy. Don't judge.

Moving on...

SPIT-UP.

I'm proud to say that Kai is NOT a spitter. He's got his Mama's strong tummy (Gary gags at anything--picking up dog poop, Kai's messy poop, people's farts, etc...).

BUT when he does spit up, it's not a cute little dribble down his chin. It's projectile (which means there is a lot).

Luckily, Honey loves to clean up Kai's spit up. I won't go into detail, because I'm sure some of you are wishing you weren't reading this, but we are thankful for Honey's willingness to take an active role in this area of Kai's up-bringing and, yes, we encourage such behavior.

OK. No more reporting about bodily functions.

Just more of the unglamorous truth.

ME.

I have never been high-maintenence. I've worn my hair in a pony tail for quite possibly 3/4 of my life. I rarely wear makeup. I wait as long as possible before getting my hair done. I never thought I could really neglect my appearance any more.

But, sadly, I could. And I am.

I'm not thrilled with the way I look right now as it is, but the ratty hair, sweats and dark circles sure don't help anything.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder where I went. I look SO tired...bleh.

Sure, there are nights I actually put on jeans and maybe a little make up and if I'm really feelin' it, I do my hair. But honestly, by the time I finish I'm too tired to even leave the house.

And then there's my retainers.

(sorry.)



I haven't worn my retainers since I brought Kai home. I don't know why I'm hanging on to them, or for that matter why I've worn them all this time (since my FRESHMAN year of HIGH SCHOOL!), OR why I suddenly STOPPED wearing them when I was officially a Mom. Every night as I brush my teeth I see them, and they make me feel guilty. Why can't I throw them away? I guess maybe if my teeth go crooked I might be able to jam them into place....?!

Sad story, poor haggard old Whitney....

Whatever!!!

Want the truth of it all?

I'm loving every single second of my new {messy} life.

Kai @ the Doctor today (he is 18 pounds!!!)

Smiles, laughs, babbles, coos, snuggles, tears, spit-up, poop...

All. Totally. Worth. It.

Gary asked me the other night:

"Did you ever think you could love someone SO much?"

It's a love you can't even imagine.

But a love that rushes in the moment that little one nestles in your arms...

that little one with your eyes and nose, his lips and smile...

So sweet, soft, and perfect.

And {definitely} worth a little dried poop on the forehead.