That is my "word" for this year.
Does that sound depressing?
It certainly seems like it should--especially in our consumer-happy culture.
Many times, our initial internal response to the word "less" is a feeling of disappointment or feeling sorry for oneself. But as I sat down and wrote out my goals for the year and really sat with God to hear what it was that He wanted for me and for our family this year, I just kept hearing and feeling and repeating "less, less, less."
And it wasn't the pitiful, self-deprecating kind of "less."
It was a hopeful, freeing, deep sense of "less."
{Check out Jennie Allen's Dream Guide for a great goal-setting outline!}
So the following, my friends, is the is the "less" that I am compelled toward for the year ahead:
Less screen time.
I absolutely set limits on my kids' "screen time" and I pride myself on getting them outside and engaging in creative ventures on the daily but lets face it--we could all spend less time staring into the glossy sheen of the TV, iPad & iPhone.
TV:
At the start of this new year, G and I (along with the nagging voice of Dave Ramsey) made the painful decision to break up with Directv. Instead we have Netflix/Amazon Prime to stream and a working antenna and I no longer feel compelled to click through the DVR or channel surf when I have more pressing tasks in front of me like mopping floors or stripping beds. It's also better for the kiddos because after they get their "wake-up" show--it stops! It's easy to let a 30 minute show turn into 90-minutes of Disney/Nick Jr. when it plays continuously. So, love that--AND the fact that we are saving a TON of money (happy Dave?)
Which also led me to also say "less" to another distraction--a worse one.
iPhone:
My children wouldn't allow me to sit on my phone all day even if I tried. HOWEVER, I often find that when I do have a lull in the daily grind and a chance to actually be still for a moment I am reaching for my phone. While there ARE times that I may be doing things that are productive and necessary (i.e. paying bills, responding to emails, reading about current events) there are also times I am mindlessly scrolling through social media. Not that that is BAD--it's just a waste of time if it's being done several times a day AND it's not exactly how I want my kids to remember me--staring into the light of the rectangular screen in my hands. What is that teaching them?
SO--the parameters that I have set for myself are to check email/social media twice a day. Once in the morning before kids are up & then again at night after kids are in bed.
I'm not saying "no," I'm just saying "less."
iPad:
30 minutes per kid, per day (not including the 1-year old who just smears her drooly fingers all over the place). We only have educational apps on the iPad, so it's not like they dumping that time down the drain but I just feel that so much is missed when their little eyes are so glued to that screen--they miss the birds in the backyard and the sunset and the big cardboard box in the garage just begging to be transformed into a rocket. There are days that they don't even ask for iPad time, and then there are days they beg for it (usually extreme weather days!). On those "begging" days limits are a good thing to hold both parent and child accountable!
And guess what?
Less screen time = More together time.
I will admit that with Gracie's hyperactive/annoyingly needy tendencies, I am often guilty of turning a show on for her while I make/serve dinner just so she's not all up in my grill. And then everyone ends up eating in front of the TV which makes for less conversation and more screen time and not the most fulfilling family time. WELL NOT THIS YEAR. I am really good at the whole "family dinner at the table" thing when we have company or when G is home--but when he's gone...different story. Well, this year dinner time is sacred and the only sounds that will be filling it will be slurping and stories about the day.
Less "lazy" spending.
Darn you, Dave Ramsey. G and I read (let me rephrase--I READ TO G) his "Total Money Makeover" book and it pretty much slapped us in the face about careless spending. This summer is when we really started to feel the effects of dropping from two incomes to one--and I was feeling a bit trapped and helpless with student loan debt and just getting by each month. Well, this book was like a beacon of light in the never ending tunnel of bills and budgets and debt that I felt like I was wandering in. The book is challenging yet inspiring and hope-filled. It totally puts the ball in your court and basically says you CAN be debt free but you have to "live like no one else now in order to live like nobody else later."So for us, that means:
1. Cars
We are downgrading in the vehicle department. We have used, less luxurious but more economical cars waiting for us once we can get rid of the ones we have now and I can already feel so much freedom from simply listing them for sale.
2. Food
We have been super lazy about our grocery budget--and WHERE we choose to buy groceries. I am not a meal planner by nature so I could easily just decide what I "feel like" making for dinner that day and swing by our neighborhood grocery store (that is very overpriced) to get what I need. That is lazy spending. This year, I have decided to sit down on Saturday morning and write out a meal plan and grocery list that will carry us through two weeks and then drive the whole 15-20 minutes to the much more economical Winco to save me literally almost $100 on my grocery bill. WORTH IT. I've already seen the positive benefits of not only having a plan but also going out of my way to stick to a budget.
G can also spend an ungodly amount of money on meals when he's working out of town which is very convenient for him but harmful to our budget. So, I have also set out to "meal prep" for him after church on Sundays so he has healthy, quick options to eat on the job throughout the week. It's not as nice as the Sunday nap or football veg-out sesh, but it's money saving and fun for me to be in the kitchen alone for a change (if only I could have a glass of wine) while G takes a "Daddy Daycare day."
Less sleep.
Yikes. When is this ever a good thing? Well, studies show that many of the worlds most successful people sleep very little so I need to just stop being a whiny baby, right?! Even when it's dark and cold. Let's face it--this one is really about me getting my butt to bed before midnight.
One of the things I felt God wanting the most from me was alone time with me FIRST THING in the morning. He knows how much I love to stay up late and not even open an eye until I hear Gracie chirping in the monitor. But He also wants me to put Him FIRST. As in meet with him FIRST, before anything else. Before my day gets too cray. There is so much about this that goes against my nature as I am the definition of a "night owl" in every sense of the word. But less sleeping in = more Jesus, more time, more productivity, and ultimately, my next "less":
Less excuses.
There are a couple of things that have been stirring in my heart that I have continued to shove down deeper each time I feel them bubbling to the surface. I find a MILLION excuses not to act on those callings that I KNOW God has placed in my soul for a purpose--not MY purpose, but HIS purpose.This year, I am going to complete the process to become a licensed foster care provider--something that I have felt that "tugging" on my heart to do for some time now. I often say "how in the world am I going to do that when I have my own family of six to care for?" But how selfish is that thinking? It's not about ME--it's about showing the love of Jesus to a child who has been through the unspeakable and needs a safe place to go. We literally have two unused bedrooms in our home and there are times I walk by them and just stare into their echo-y expanse and actually feel shame that I am not sharing them when a child who needs a bed. A home. A family. I have been through the orientation but the rest of the certification process has felt like an overwhelming burden and so tedious it has just come to a halt. "I just "don't have time." Well, I'm making time. It's happening.
Messages like this that I have heard at my incredible church have done nothing but validate what I know I need to do! (For full sermon click here! I highly recommend watching!!)
The other "call" I have been ignoring for even longer is my writing. Not so much my blogging (even though I often ignore that, too), but my intentional, formal writing. I have at last begun the process of paging through my scribble-filled notebooks and outlining a book proposal. I also joined an online community of writers for accountability and direction which has been SO motivating. This is the year, friends. I am making the choice to say "yes" to less. Even if that means less comfort. Less sleep. Less "me."
...
John 3:29-30 is what I have coined as my "Mission Statement" for 2016 and I LOVE the Message (MSG) version of it's words:
"That's why my cup is running over.
This is the assigned moment for Him to move into the center,
while I slip off to the sidelines."
May this be a year where I "slip off to the sidelines" while Jesus comes off the bench to be the star; and may our cups "run over" from more of Him.
