IF: Gathering Series Conclusion {Chris Caine}

How could I possibly pick a few key points to highlight from Chris Caine's IF: Gathering message?

Yeah right! I couldn't get my pen moving fast enough to keep up with the fire of God that was pouring out of her soul into the most convicting and beautiful and inspiring words.

The crux of her message was really about just stepping out and DOING. It was about serving and taking action and not just waiting around for God but living like there isn't a moment to waste because He is waiting for us!

I pray that as you read over the notes I have included below from her segment that they would ignite (or reignite if you have heard her message!) a fire deep within to GO. To take that step. To be a servant and love in a way that knows no bounds. To be brave enough to follow Him into the beautiful but dangerous unknown.

...

We are here to do the works that God prepared us to do before we were even here.

We are at the edge of our promised land and we will remain there unless we begin to "DO." 

We can sing, pray, talk, etc. but unless we "DO" there is no promised land.

Let go of the past and step into what will be. 

Don't hang on to "what was." 

If the horse is dead, dismount! 

We are all unhealthily attached to the past. 

Focus on the good and leave the rest at the foot of the cross.

For lasting and meaningful purpose, SERVE.

Talent does not prepare you for the battle...service does.

The devil will send a spirit of fear into EVERY transition of our lives.

Don't wait for God--He is waiting for you!

SET. YOUR. FOOT.

Begin to move. 

Joshua would NOT have taken the land 

if he didn't have faith to set foot onto the land!

Be willing to work. 

The call of God is inconvenient.

Make a decision to get into the word and 

stay in the word and 

roll up your sleeves and serve.

Communion with God HAS to be INTENTIONAL.

The glory of God is a man or woman FULLY ALIVE!

Quit talking about doing something and just DO.

Ask God "what is mine to do?" and 

open your eyes to 

who/how/when

I can serve.

Be deeply kind. Be courageous. Be brave.

He will give you the grace you need for right now. 

...

To my dear sisters in Hermiston who are "re"gathering together tonight I am praying for your time together. I wish I could be there to fellowship and pray and worship with you! 

It has been so good for me to embark on this short little series review of the "IF Gathering."

I have been able to dig deeper and really re-live the event. 

I have been humbled and convicted and encouraged and inspired. 

Thank you for reading and reviewing along with me--and thank you, Heather, for encouraging me to blog again.

It feels good to be here. 

response.

Bianca Olthoff: Joshua 6 "Walk it out"

I very much enjoyed listening to Bianca speak. She's hilarious and she's beautiful and she's passionate. Here are the notes that I had written down from her message:

There is one particular line that I find myself coming back to--and it's one that I would like to revisit and reflect upon today:

Don't lose your vision--

results are God's responsibility, but response is ours.

I don't know about you, but I keep on coming back to this:

"...response is ours."

Response is our responsibility.

How can, how am I responding to Jesus--to the gospel--to His truths and promises?

It is easy to sit and pray and read and receive....

but to respond, that takes faith.

...

So often, I get so caught up in the "big picture." I want the fruits before the labor. I want the race day without the training. I "think" I know what I need. What I'm supposed to be doing. What would be best. Where I am supposed to put my time and efforts. But that is all over my head. 

God knows where I'm going, not me. 

He asks only that I live my life--day-by-day and moment-by-moment in response to His great love and sovereignty and perfect guiding light that will only illuminate my path 

if I let Him lead.

That's faith. 

Faith is the pen gliding across the rock, unearthing our response.

Written words are brought to life not by the writing itself, but in action.

With sacrifice.

With devotion.

With tears.

With forgiveness.

With grace.

With response. 

As I run my fingers along the smooth surface of this rock that I brought back in my backpack from the Oregon Coast late last summer,

I close my eyes and hear the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore and re-live the moment that, months later, I prayerfully penned these words.

I whisper them as I roll that smooth stone over and over and over in my hand and feel them echo from somewhere deep and sacred;

like a ripple from a sandaled foot, 

swung out over a boat and onto the churning sea.

May we "be" love,

purpose & honor

I just love Bob Goff. He is one of the most beautifully inspiring people. I could listen to him speak all day long. His wife (sweet Maria) is quite wonderful, too.

He was the only male to get a speaking spot at the IF: Gathering--and I wish he would have had longer to share! His messages are always so humbling and inspiring and centered around loving boldly like Jesus and being filled with JOY.

I scribbled down several great points from Bob & Maria's message at the Gathering. I'm going to break them up into two different groups: "Purpose" & "Relationship" (Bob & Maria's words in bold)

PURPOSE

"There are many things you are "able" to do but what will last?"

"You know what gifts God has given you...now step out in faith!"

"What does the "next humblest" version of me look like? What would I do?"

"People who love like Jesus did are constantly misunderstood."

There is so much depth here.

Something I always tried to drive home to my graduating seniors while working as a school counselor was the importance of not only finding a career, but a life with purpose. I always told them that my hope for them was to not just find a "job" that benefitted their wallets, but that they would find a "purpose" that would benefit their soul. Purpose > Money.

Living a life that reflects "purpose" over "prosperity" is not a quest for the weary. It takes guts and courage, and quite frankly, Jesus.

I recently had the privilege of attending a teacher training for a wonderful program called Imagination Yoga. The women I met there were all so vibrant and beautiful and honest. It was so refreshing to meet a handful women who had worked in the corporate world for so long making the choice to follow their heart and dreams and chase after something lasting.

We were all so very different, but all united in our desire to connect, inspire, encourage, strengthen, educate and love.

What does it look like for you to step out in faith and start living a life that asks different questions? Not "what can I do" but "what will last?"

Pay attention to what makes your soul sing. It could be hospitality, gardening, painting, cooking, decorating, sewing, writing, teaching, running, reading, etc...

And do more of that.

Make {your} beautiful, God-glorifying art. 

RELATIONSHIP

"HONOR each other."

"Tell people WHO you see them becoming."

"Be joyful!"

These three simple points are crazy mind-blowing powerful if you let them soak deep down.

What does it look like to really honor one another? 

Our friends, spouses, children, co-workers, neighbors, enemies...

I find that it's often in the smallest actions that honor is put into action in the biggest way.

Honor is a smile. It's in forgiveness. It's in tired selflessness.

Honoring, is serving.

It says, "I value you," but not with words. 

With love. 

It is a choice we make, to find Jesus in the hard and ugly of the everyday sin-soaked world.

By choosing to stop and breathe and give thanks for the simple gifts like birds and sunshine and friendship.

By making it our calling to honor one another--to love boldy. 

To be exhausted and stretched and vulnerable

and filled with joy.

Love,

Don't be anxious, Mama.

Helen Lee gave a short and sweet message at If: Gathering--but it packed a punch for me.

She is an an author, speaker and "missional mom" as her blog states. I think she's pretty incredible, but you should check out her website and see for yourself.

This is all that I wrote down from her message but I had tears streaming down my face as I did--and I still revisit this quote of hers for encouragement and to just get my "mama mind" on the right track:

The most important thing you can do for your kids is to 

LOVE THEM FOR WHO JESUS CREATED THEM TO BE.

We need to just LET GO 

and TRUST that He has more in store for them than 

we could EVER KNOW!

Do not be anxious.

When you grow and birth and nurse and nurture a tiny little human into a toddler than a preschooler and so on (i'm not any further than that and won't be for A LONG TIME, OK?!) a lot happens to your brain that once was so very occupied with self and husband and dog.

There is a lot to worry about when you have tiny people in your care that you are to raise up to be upstanding, self-sustaining citizens.

Stuff like, trendy outfits and getting fundamentals down for soccer/basketball/tee-ball/[fill-in-the-blank]; like flashcards, then reading, then a foreign language; like art and music and dance classes for days and days and days and days...and then there are all of the other kinds of worry--like if you are killing your kids by feeding them gluten or dairy or by vaccinating them, for heaven's sake ("guilty"x3). And THEN the worries about sleep training and breast feeding and co-sleeping and organic produce and cloth diapers and organic rash creams and baby shampoo and interactive toys and screen time restrictions and THEN the worries about academia and tests and levels and etc., etc., etc.

Seriously. If new moms--or any moms for that matter were forced to display a screen shot of their google search history my point would be proven.

We worry because we love our little monsters more than life itself. We only want the best of the best for them and to give them the world on a platter the best way we know how.

And then words like Helen's sink in and I feel like I've been set free.

Set free from all of the above--all of the silly little worries that at times, I let absolutely CONSUME me.

The UTMOST Important thing I can do for my babies is LOVE them for who their incredible Creator made them so very uniquely and beautifully to be. NO MATTER WHAT.

And to celebrate who they are--not who I WANT them to be, but who they have been created to be.

The most important thing I can do is to breathe divine purpose into their existence through my guidance and example and LOVE. I can only do this if I have faith and trust in God; that He has plans for their life--to serve and love and honor Him.

It's SO, SO easy to lose sleep (more than we already have to, anyway) over things that are out of our control and honestly, so insignificant to what really, truly matters.

Don't be anxious, Mama.

Hold your babies close. 

Keep them in an embrace that goes beyond your grasp and deeper into the arms of grace; where they can look up to you looking up to Him, and beneath His life-giving light, bloom.

Have a wonderful weekend!

found.

BELIEF TAKES COURAGE. 

Overcome unbelief! 

(Jen Hatmaker)

We MUST chase after Jesus in order to grow.

He has more for us than we can even imagine and he WANTS to meet us there, in that place of communion and closeness, day in and day out so we can hear from him and be molded into who He has created us to be.

13-14 “When you come looking for me, you’ll find me.

“Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.”

[Jeremiah 29:13]

The Message (MSG)

...

"He is good through the good times and He is good through the hard times." 

(Jen Hatmaker)

But it's in those "hard times" that we get lost. We get bitter and angry and selfish and question the goodness of God.

We've all been there. Some of us have stayed lost longer than others. Some of us may still be choosing to live the "lost" life.

What must God feel when one of His sheep wander off and choose to stay away?

I can't really imagine how His heart breaks but if you have ever momentarily lost sight of your small child in a busy store or at a large event you know the utter relief and joy that floods your soul when you find them.

I once lost Kai at a Christmas tree festival event in a not-huge but not-small and very packed conference center. Sunny and I frantically searched everywhere and I think I almost had cardiac arrest due to the stress of it all. I found him on the floor huddled in close laughing and playing with some of his daycare friends he had spotted while we were making ornaments--well, while Sunny and I were making ornaments, apparently. Anyway, when I found him I scooped him up and wanted to yell at him for running off but I couldn't because I was so relieved and overwhelmed with joy that I'd found my little boy. I shed tears, friends. It was the first time I had ever "lost" a child and It was scary.

...

Sometimes we might not feel lost. We might think we are doing just fine being separated from our Mom or Dad--or from Jesus. But then, when we get scooped up in those loving, strong arms and pulled into a tight embrace and we feel warm and valued and missed and just adored.

We feel found.

"Found" is how it feels to overcome unbelief and return to Him.

"Found" is how it feels to run into His grace, even when life feels like it's falling apart.

What IF, we lived like we believed we are found--

like we are loved, adored, forgiven, and saved?

Love,

Jen Hatmaker Day 2: On the daily.

"Don't wait until you have full possession of knowledge before you have full possession of God. Give your heart permission to trust Him." (Jen Hatmaker)

I love this line. I felt this way myself in my personal faith journey for SO LONG. I felt like there were still so many unanswered questions and that my Bible knowledge was lacking and I felt awkward when I prayed.

I felt like God was kind of some hovering light that I knew I wanted but could never really attain.

It wasn't until I made a very conscious decision to chase after Him that felt like I "had Him." 
Let me unpack that a bit. When I say "conscious decision," I mean making it a priority to get to know Jesus through His word and through prayer and worship. I figured if I had time in my busy life to do things like 90 minutes of hot yoga or 30 minutes of mindless social media browsing I most definitely could spend some time with the ONE WHO CREATED ME. Hard to swallow, but true.

You guys, what happened when I made spending time with Jesus a priority blows my mind.

Things started changing. Suddenly, opening my Bible didn't seem like such a chore. I began really craving my daily quiet times and things just didn't feel right on days that it didn't happen. It absolutely sets the tone for my day--just like exercise. You know how when you get your workout done first thing in the morning it just seems like you live a healthier lifestyle for the rest of that day? I hate working out in the morning (early rising don't come natural to this night owl) but on the days that I do, I enjoy the benefits of that workout for the rest of the day. Well, the same is true for having that daily quiet time with God. I usually do mine after I've fed the kiddos breakfast, taken Kai to school and put Gracie down for her morning nap. I just have to make sure Sunny is immersed in her imaginary world before I start or she ends up all over the place and the quality of my study is compromised.

Sunny Boo (Falcon)

My daily quiet time with Jesus has become crucial for my well-being, for my happiness, for the way I go about the rest of the day, and the way that I make decisions and encounter daily difficulties. I feel so full of peace and love and joy and there is always enough to spill over into my afternoon and rest of the day.

Don't get me wrong here--It's definitely not all rainbows and sunshine just because I'm daily drawing near. I have hard days and struggle often--but my closeness with Jesus is evident in how I am able to deal with the ugly and the hard that will undoubtedly show up. On the days that I make meeting with Jesus a priority--even in the midst of a long to-do list I am able to better re-direct my thoughts and actions when they get negative or apathetic or just plan grumpy and selfish.

"Faith is a process that {day by day} turns us into disciples." (Jen Hatmaker)

I'm no Bible scholar and I doubt I ever will be. I do not utter the most eloquent prayers. And if you've ever heard my singing voice you know, well, enough. I know I don't have it all together, but drawing near to Jesus and digging deeper in His word and meeting Him in prayer opens my eyes to a world world where I don't have to have all the knowledge and answers to all of the philosophical questions in order to be in the the presence of the Lord. Because the more of Jesus I get, the more all the other stuff just starts to fade away, paling in comparison to His overwhelming love for me. 

"Faith doesn't erase stuff. It OVERCOMES it." (Jen Hatmaker)

If I could encourage you, dear reader to do anything, it would be to take this special time for yourself.

We all have crap in our life that we've done or has been done to us. Growing and developing a faith won't take any of that away...but what it will do, is OVERCOME it. Jesus will take you above and beyond anything that hinders your ability to thrive. You just have to give Him a chance. And not just a "half-butt" chance, but a genuine, raw, "let's get real and down to business" chance.

It seems so elementary but it rings true that when you don't do it with intention, it just doesn't happen. Carve a small window out of your day and make it a PRIORITY. It may seem forced at first but once you really enter in and begin to open up God's word and let Him move around in your life you will more than make room for this time in your day.

I know that the Bible seems scary and big and overwhelming. Start small. No one started training for a marathon with a 20 mile run! I would encourage you to use some kind of supplemental devotional--I currently read "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young, "Savor" by Shauna Niequist and also a Bible reading plan that my church provides, along with IF: Equip, of course! I love how the devotional supplements are everyday for a year--and they have the dates listed on each passage so am held accountable for daily reading.

I find that sitting down and mindfully reading the small excerpts from the above devotionals, reading the recommended Bible passages and journaling usually takes me anywhere from 45-90 minutes. This varies depending on where my kids are and what they are doing, of course. But in all seriousness, if you feel like you don't have full possession of Jesus, or you are kind of stuck in your faith, make a meeting time with Him EVERY DAY for a month.

Watch where it takes you, friend.

Keep your meetings with Him like you would the most desired client you could ever entertain. It won't be easy, I will warn you. The enemy won't like it, so he will show up and try to steal and destroy your devotion so be prepared for distractions. He will draw your attention to how dirty your kitchen is, or how much laundry you have to fold and what a bad housekeeper you are--it's inevitable. But power through.

Come and sit before Jesus and bring your whole self--ugly, sinful, selfish, worldly, you name it. Let Him wrap you in His arms and breathe fresh life into your spirit. I liken it to how my joints and muscles feel after a good yoga class. My soul feels that way after a good quiet time. Stretched and sometimes uncomfortable, but more at peace and centered and {joyful} because of it.

Jesus will show up.

Will you?

Love,

Keeping the FAITH & not playing small

Jen Hatmaker has me dialed in.

I pretty much feel like we have coffee and chit chat every morning because her writing is so reflective and conversational and convicting and so darn relatable. And HILARIOUS. I'm quite certain that I own all of her books AND that I "like" every single one of her Facebook posts. So we're pretty much friends, right?! ;)

It makes perfect sense that her message for IF: Gathering was right on the money for me. I took, like, SEVEN pages of notes that I will NOT bombard you with by posting up in here. In all honesty, I could probably write approximately 35 posts on her message because it was so jam packed full of relevance to me. But instead, I'm just going to break it up into a few (less than five but more than two) different posts and try to keep them reader-friendly and not novel-esque like I'm naturally inclined to be so guilty of.

For this post you will find Jen's words in bold and then my own personal application and reflection--follow along and unpack how your story applies to her teaching!

...

God invited YOU to live a BIG, bold, exciting life...don't. play. small.

Oh man. I play small when I second guess myself. I play small when I say "no" to things I should say "yes" to because I feel like I'm not good enough. I play small when I feel that still small voice in my soul moving me to act and I shy away because I'm scared. I play small when I doubt. I play small when I question God. I play small when I stress about my plans or my kids or my house or bill or sickness.

A BIG, BOLD EXCITING LIFE is a life centered on Jesus. It is a life lived on purpose. It is a life of the deepest love and forgiveness. It is a life that seeks the light in every moment of every day.

...that’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God 

is worked into something good. 

Romans 8:28 (MSG)

The invitation stands, for you and for me.

Let's check "yes" and let God's love transform our lives!

Real faith moves OUT OF OUR HEADS and INTO OUR LIVES.

This is about ACTION. Yes, we love Jesus and we worship and pray and attend church. But does our faith permeate our day-to-day? Do we look in on our sick elderly neighbor? Do we offer to help when we see someone has their hands full? Do we take the time to sit and listen--really listen to that chatty (kind of annoying) kid at the park who is just begging for someone to validate their importance? Do we bless others with our words? Do we genuinely apologize and forgive? 

This isn't about what we KNOW. It's about what we DO. And that is convicting and encouraging to me all at once.

You don't have to have full confidence in yourself...HAVE IT IN GOD.

So, when you know that God is bringing you to something but you have NO IDEA what to do with it or how it's going to work out, this is where you throw your hands up and say,

"OK, God, here I am. WHAT NEXT?"

When you ask "what next?" you are waiting to receive from Him and ready to plant your foot. You aren't looking for a way out or an excuse to stop pursuing whatever it may be (because we all know there are always plenty of those to go around) but instead, with patience, faith and persistence you are saying "I'm here. I'll go." Your hands and eyes and ears are open and expectant.

Listen to that voice, friends.

Listen to the things you do that make your soul come alive.

Ask God to use your gifts and talents for His glory and wait in faith and anticipation for doors to open!

It's ok to be scared. 

Reach {up} & His grace will meet you. 

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness. 

2 Corinthians 12:9 (MSG)

More review from Jen's message tomorrow...and the day after that... :)

Love,

Our Redeemer Lives!

Good morning, friends!

Today I'm going to review the messages we heard at IF: Gathering from Rebekah Lyons and Jo Saxton.

[Rebekah Lyons]

I can recall how vividly and refreshingly genuine Rebekah's message was, and how she said something I so badly needed to hear:

"God has CHOSEN YOU to be right where you are for this season."

I didn't really know it, but I was desperate to hear that line. 

I am in new territory with this whole SAHM gig--and at times, even though I am confident I am right where I need to be, I struggle with precisely where I am at in my season. 

I had a school counseling career for almost 10 years that I loved and felt successful at. I have a Masters degree (one that I am still paying for, to boot). I have so many things I want to do--things that my soul aches to be a part of like volunteer counseling for youth and fun therapeutic yoga for children and volunteering at the Union Gospel Mission, etc. I'm a dreamer. A mover and shaker and a doer. I get antsy some days because I want all of the above so badly--and I want to do it all right NOW...

I sometimes have little mental melt downs or pity parties (usually on long, tantrum-heavy, messy, cloudy days) that find me in prayer, and prayer, and more prayer, and then an eventual release of peace and calm and quiet before God where I am validated, yet again, that I am indeed, right where I am supposed to be: with my baby on my hip and my toddler tangled up at my feet chasing after my pre-schooler. 

It's messy, it's disorganized, it can be gross and never glamorous and is often exhausting. But getting to be home and teach my babies worship songs and Bible stories and flip them pancakes in our pjs in the morning and have picnics in the park and bike/stroller adventures is a dream come true for this once working mama. I may not be doing the work that has validated my "usefulness" for so long, as this motherhood work is a different kind of work--a behind-the-scenes, quiet kind of work that doesn't include meetings and scheduling and academic advising. 

It is the kind of work that has brought me to new highs and new lows--but forced me to get up close and personal with my relationship, reliance on and trust in Jesus. 

And He is showing me things and growing me in ways 6 months ago I could not have imagined. 

HE CHOSE ME to be RIGHT HERE.

Yes, I have other goals and aspirations and desires that go above and beyond diapers and laundry and baths and dishes. But for today, for this time, my life will glorify Him with my love for my husband and children. Tomorrow and next fall and next year and three years from now will take care of itself. 

But for today, I am where I should be. And knowing that, BELIEVING that, causes me to live with that much more intention. 

I am where our amazing creator God WANTS ME! 

May my life bring glory and honor to him, even if for this season it consists mostly of pull-ups and spray-and-wash and toys and books and crumbs. All for Him.  

...

This whole idea that God {chose} us to be where we are for this time ties in beautifully with Jo Saxton's message which really revolved around the phrase "Our Redeemer LIVES!"

"Live like your redeemer lives!"

"Your redeemer lives and the life He has for you will set you forward 

as you embrace Him."

"Whatever your situation, YOUR REDEEMER LIVES."

What does that look like; to "live like your redeemer lives?" 

Well, I'm still working through it all, but I'm fairly sure that it involves not worrying or being anxious about my future; and it certainly doesn't base value on salary and level of education and things like designer jeans and shoes and how clean and put-together my house is (Thank you, Jesus!)

I'm pretty certain it involves a whole lot of moment-by-moment reliance on Jesus and requests for guidance and direction, and it absolutely means living a life of gratitude; of offering praises in the midst of whatever season you find yourself--and allowing yourself to be a channel for His abundant goodness to flow through. 

It means living with a heavenly confidence. 

It means loving deeply and dangerously. 

It means not just passing through my "season," but making a choice to {thrive} in this place.

...

It seems like such a simple truth--"My Redeemer lives." But...

WHAT IF we internalized it's meaning and let it wreck us down to our core? 

WHAT IF it was our response to our problems and worries and burdens? 

WHAT IF our lives sang it's earth shaking, death defying, beautiful song? 

Our Redeemer LIVES! 

Love, 

uncomfortable

Jennie Allen, the woman at the forefront of the whole "IF" vision kicked off the IF: Gathering event back in February. She is SUCH a compelling speaker. Her passion and conviction are infectious and listening to her speak makes me feel SO inspired and believed in.

I remember during basketball games right before shooting free throws--whether they be to tie or win the game or just the chance to score a point or two, hearing the cheerleaders chant my name: "Come on Whitney, PUT IT IN!" I felt believed in. They knew I could do it. They were in my court. They had faith in me. Well, that is how I feel when I hear Jennie speak. Like, YES. JESUS is in my court. Let's do this.

Here is a snapshot of my notes from her message (pardon the penmanship):

What I keep on coming back to from this message is the title of this post: Uncomfortable

"Don't try to be comfortable."

Don't TRY to be comfortable. 

DON'T TRY to be COMFORTABLE.

That is one of those lines you just keep reading over and over trying to wrap your head around what it means for you. How on earth do I go against my very human desire to be comfortable in just about every aspect of my life? How do I live dangerously--and live for Jesus?

I'll tell you what this means for me using the 3 questions Jennie challenged us to ask (WITH OUR LIVES, no less!) listed above in my notes:

1) Am I enough?

I am guilty of staying "comfortable" in my faith because of the lies I often allow myself to be held captive by that tell me I am not good enough. That I'm not cool enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, smart enough, creative enough, funny enough, brave enough, etc. Lies that make me self-conscious and trapped in a deep pool of self pity.

It's when I believe that I AM ENOUGH that I live dangerously. I step out of my comfort zone because I am confident in who made me and HOW He made me. I can feel his gaze upon my every step when I rest in the promise that I, in fact, AM ENOUGH. When I truly believe that I am enough I am grateful I can receive with an open and thankful heart. I can be used by God because I am ready to take that scary first step because you know what? I am enough.

Do you {really} believe you are enough? 

You are, friend.

Listen to this and let these words soak deep down.

YOU are the friendliest of friends of God! I LOVE that. The friendliest of friends of God. 

A difference maker.

2) Am I gonna be SAFE?

We love our safety, don't we? In fact, we pray for it SO MUCH. Safe travels, safe drives, safe nights, keep us safe, keep us safe, keep us safe....

But what if God wants us to go where it's not so safe? But we keep praying for safety...

What if He wants us to step into something new that feels unsafe and scary?

I am guilty of this safety prayer--and am making a conscious effort to instead ask God to lead me and be with my every step. That His will be done in my life--in my day to day, moment to moment life. That I would seek Him in the every day and instead of camping out in the "safe," seek opportunities to rely on Him and let Him lead me into the unknown, unsafe, UNCOMFORTABLE where HE sits, just waiting for me to join Him.

So short answer to this question: No. No you will not be safe, but guess what Jennie so poignantly pointed out:

It's in the RISK that you see the FAVOR.

3) What is it going to cost?

This is where the rubber hits the road. What am I willing to LET GO OF to more fully follow Jesus? Words alone can not adequately answer this question.

Only actions.

"KILL THE STORY THAT WALKS BY SIGHT. Move from a life and words and thoughts of SIGHT to a life and words and thoughts OF FAITH." (Jennie's words!)

THAT is what is is going to cost.

Letting go of the world's standards and CHOOSING to measure your worth, your value, your scale of impact, your ability, your LIFE by a heavenly standard. NOT what this world measures us by.

Which means it's no longer about me. It's no longer about comfort. It's no longer about stuff and status and appearance and competition.

It's about Jesus. 

And Jesus is about YOU and about showing up when you seek Him above all else and about

brave, courageous UNCOMFORTABLE love. 

...

What is God calling you to that seems risky or uncomfortable? 

What is holding you back from taking that first step?

Close your eyes and envision yourself taking that step.

What do you see? How do you feel?

...

You are strong. 

You are courageous. 

WE WERE MADE FOR THIS.


Love you, friends.

Well hello, old friend!

It's just 3 months shy of a year that I last posted on this blog. 

SO, so much has happened since I last clicked "publish" on this page.

I quit my job (the one that paid, anyway), we sold our house in the only town my children have ever known and left our family and friends and familiarity for something new and unknown (more on that later).

Being home full time with three children 4 and under has not allowed much time for blog upkeep (hence no posts since last July). I have continued to write but just the old-school style--in my composition notebook during my quiet time, so needless to say when I say "write" I mean written prayers.

I have also not had a laptop since December, as I had always just used my work provided one for evening and weekend personal use. However, with me in the beginning stages of starting a small business coupled with a bit of a tax return, I recently was able to purchase a shiny new MacBook (I never thought I'd type that!) so now I feel like I'm typing in first class (minus the laundry piles and heap of matchbox cars and plastic farm animals at my feet).

Writing is something I don't really feel like I have an option to do. It's my art. It's something that lives inside of me that I have to get out--and that call has become increasingly clear to me as I seek God's will for my time and efforts and gifts and, well, life.

So, with some divine passion deep within that won't die out and a sweet friend who has put the blogging bug in my ear for a few months now,

here I am. 

I felt that in order to "reemerge" I needed to give ol' "Joyful Ambiguity" a makeover. It's amateur, I know--I'm no graphic designer by any stretch of the imagination. But a fresh title, new colors and updated pictures did her good, and gave me the blank canvas I needed to begin again.

So, without further adieu, I set out to blog a bit of a series on a movement that has been instrumental in my faith. A movement that has stemmed from a group of women with a vision and the conviction to take action.

I'm talking about IF: Gathering.

But first, a bit of background:

God is seriously so good. As I look back over this last year, I see how I got mixed up in this beautiful event at just the right time. I attended IF: Pray with a BUNCH of beautiful women in my hometown of Hermiston, Oregon and got an itty bitty taste of how much God was moving there at the venue as well as all across the country in similar gatherings. At that time, our house had been placed on the market and sold in almost the same day. We knew we were moving and I was to quit my job but that was pretty much it. It was a time of major transition for my little family and I--and I remember showing up to IF: Pray a bit distracted and anxious and frazzled from all of the impending change, but leaving with a sense of peace and encouraged and EXCITED for the new path God was calling us to.

Fast forward 4-5 months. I'm in a new house in a new city. Home with super sick kiddos and sick myself. My husband is working insane hours and I'm beyond tired. I had hoped to attend an IF: Gathering event at a large church in the Valley nearby, but with the flu running rampant in our home and G's work schedule it was far from realistic.

So I did what any exhausted delirious mommy with three sick kiddos would do: I put them to bed and stayed up all night--FOR TWO CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS to watch IF: Gathering, of course! I made myself a huge thermos of hot lemon-y tea, had my journal and Bible in my lap and was wrapped in my favorite old afghan and didn't move for like, 8 hours. Well, except to pee and nurse my baby back to sleep (approximately 14 times, but who's counting?)

I sang, I prayed, I took notes like my life depended on it, I cried, I laughed, and more than anything else I WAS RENEWED.

Sure, I was convicted and broken and humbled and encouraged but MAN, was I ever renewed with each and every word that was brought forth that entire weekend. I knew that I was supposed to be right there, in my chair, in the midst of all the sickness and transition and unknown that was going on in my life. And even though I was all alone in my living room and it was the middle of the night, I felt a wonderful sense of community with the women I was worshipping with. It was incredible.

As I sit here with my notes open in my lap I realize that I am still riding the wake those waves created, and I want to continue breathing in and soaking up those challenging, uplifting, raw words that were spoken throughout the event.

SO, in the following week--or two--I will be reviewing several of the messages that were spoken and points that were made that weekend by the many dynamic, powerful, God-fearing women who just plain BROUGHT IT. I will basically just draw upon what really impacted me or served as a source of encouragement or just a plain truth-slap in the face (because lets face it--we all need those from time to time). Basically, just spending some time reflecting and remembering.

Care to join me, friend?