on work and simplifying. and love.

I am SO GUILTY of getting bogged down and consumed with paperwork.

 

you know, the knitty gritty, nuts-and-bolts of just about any job.

 

the daily grind, running "to-do" list, red-flag, meeting reminder email blur of a whirlwind.

 

...but today I was blessed to have a wonderful, refreshing reminder of why I do what I do.

 

i took a handful of high school students on a college visit.

 

it was last minute, probably poorly planned and we almost didn't get out the door...

 

but we did.

 

and we spent the better half of the day listening, learning, thinking, talking...

 

just being together.

 

...and in the midst of our laughter andcasual banter about life in general and big decisions like careers and college i was reminded that

 

yep, this is it.

 

this is the real stuff.

 

i wasn't lecturing them on course rigor, i wasn't getting after them about their attendance,

 

i wasn't trying to FIX them in any way, shape, or form.

 

i was simply sitting down and just "being" with my students. 

 

i'd actually stepped out of my office, despite that blinking red light on my phone and unopened emails and huge stack of files on my desk and gave them not advice or information....

 

just my presence, a genuine listening ear and time.

 

i needed this reminder. often, i get anxious about how i'm going to "fix" or "do" or "change" or "improve" a variety of things (test scores, attendance, etc.).

 

you see, i'm a "fixer." i have that "go-getter" kind of thinking that doesn't stop or shut off....

 

but that kind of thinking can get me off focus and before i know it i'm sinking in a pool of pessimistic quick sand.

 

well, today i got back to the basics and threw data and "________ improvement plan(s)" out the door. 

 

it happened unintentionally.

 

a "divine appointment," really.

 

because when i'm doing what i'm called to do, my spirit comes alive and it's almost like my heart is saying "YES! this is it!"

 

and today as i sat, smiled, listened, cared and encouraged...

 

my heart answered back.

 

Thank you Jesus that all it takes is silly teenage laughter, a lunchtime conversation with a seven-year-old or a pick-up basketball game with a 7th grader to re-fuel my fire and steady my focus.

 

“I used to want to fix people,

but now I just want to be with them.”

 ~Bob Goff, "Love Does"

What if, in the presence of others we got intentional about the wonderful blessing of an opportunity it is for us to just "be" with them?

What if we put away our phones, shut off the video games, stopped pushing selfish agendas and just listened, really listened; and loved?

I think I'll throw out those "lists" that line my work desk and kitchen counter

and start fresh, with LOVE.

 

 

 

prelude to a Sunday night slumber: a reminder to take things one day at a time...

G opted to stay "one more night" which meant his alarm would sound at 3 am

so he could make his long drive to work,

and i had a "to-do" list sitting on my desk that seemed to be overflowing into my brain,

not to mention a stack of papers that needed to be looked over...

that were on my kitchen table--

still in the same place i'd left them in thursday night.

i didn't have the kids' clothes set out.

i didn't have my lunches prepared.

dishes were in the sink

and my living room looked like a post-cyclone toys-r-us disaster zone.

...

but there we found ourselves,

together.

all four of us,

under the same moon,

under the same roof,

under the same olive green fluffy down comforter.

snuggling, laughing, talking like friends at a sleepover and eventually,

sleeping.

...

after the sounds of whispering and laughing faded into the steady sounds of sleep

 i lay awake,  

finding myself fighting off the slumber that was selfishly drawing me in.

sure, our alarms would go off way too early,

we had a calendar for monday that by sight, looked impossible and 

we'd had to carve out a path back to the bedroom through the cars, trucks, dirty clothes and large, noisy baby paraphernalia.

but i lay there, eyes open, heart full, smiling up at the darkness,

skin-to-skin with the two babies that had grown in my belly and

 hand-in-hand with my man...

.

and i felt all of that other stuff that had weighed heavy on my mind as i fell into bed

release into the heavens and just

fade away... 

leaving me thankful and content

with little sleeping breaths, warm skin and love.

 Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now,

and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow.

 

God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

Matthew 6:34 (MSG)