this whole mommy business has been all-in-all, life changing-ly wonderful.
however, there are a few not-so-wonderful things that i managaged to skip over in the fine print of mommyhood that have taken me by surprise.
poopy diaper explosions? expected. eating dirt? expected. licking the floor? expected. putting everthing into mouth? expected. peeing all over the place for the .5 seconds that diaper is off? expected.
cleaning up recreational throw-up from gagging fascination? no so much.
i don't know if he does this for attention or what but I'M SICK (literally) of it!!
he's shoved his finger down his throat and kind of enjoyed his bodies response (the gag) for awhile now....but recently (like just this week) he has taken it to a whole new level.
the first time it happened he was playing with his toys after breakfast. i was in the kitchen flinging chunks of his leftovers onto the floor for Honey to eat (ha!) when i heard it. the gag. i peeked my head around the corner just in time to see him empty his stomach projectile-style. all over his toys, clothes and floor. gross.
thankfully, that one was an easy clean up (this is where wood floors come in quite handy!)
#2 SAME DAY. it was bedtime and I. WAS. EXHAUSTED. Kai was clean and in his jammies and we were all snuggled up in his rocker under one of his soft blankies. i went to put the bottle in his mouth an somehow he slipped a finger in ahead of the nipple and yep, you know what happened next. all over him. all over me. all over the rocker. all over the blankie. ALL OVER THE DANG CARPET. this one was the worst. dinner was broccoli and beef (kill me). i was so tired and wanted to just shut his bedroom door and have him sleep with me and pretend like it never happened (it's moments like this that i despise my husband's job and kind of despise him for never being around to deal with self-inflicted chunky puke). poor Kai. i know, he did it to himself...but he looked so pitiful and sad all covered in his own throwup...and still so cute. i awkwardly maneuvered him to the bathtub where i stripped off his soiled pjs. all the while i'm trying to brainstorm how i'm going to undertake the massive clean up effort that awaits in his room...with OUT him crawling all up in it. i decided to only let the bath fill up slightly and went and grabbed a random handful of his "non-bath" toys and chucked them in the water. he thought that was fun and while he was driving his cars under water and playing soccer with his hands i was frantically scrubbing the chair and floor, airing out the room, starting the laundry while, of course popping my head in the bathroom every chance i could get to ensure the safety of my little red rebel. soon everything was clean (but me, of course) and we were fast asleep.
as i type this blog Kai is napping. in puke. yep, that's right. call me the world's worst mommy but i'm not waking him up from his sound sleep just so i can rip the sheets off and then put fresh ones on and go through the whole naptime routine again...only to have him NO longer want a nap. he was in there singing his sleepy song and i'll admit, i heard a gag/cough which does happen without vomit most the time. AND, it's been a few days since the horrible day aforementioned so i assumed i was safe. nope. i went in to check on him and my optimism was defeated by the damp puddle of breakfast at the foot of his crib (sorry). you think i'm cruel to leave it? and him? well, here's my defense: he wasn't sleeping in it, it wasn't on him (just a little on his foot), and like a smart boy he was sleeping at the complete opposite end of the crib. i'll assess the damage and begin the clean-up effort when he wakes up.
this gagging business has got to stop. like every question i have without an answer, i conducted a google search in hopes of an explanation or at least other mommies with similar struggles and thanks to a handful of mommy discussion boards, i now know that i am not alone.
one mom suggested dipping babies fingers in apple cider vinegar in effort to keep his fingers from the back of his throat. bleh! i'm not that desperate yet. one curious trend i did note in my research (google research!) was that it was mainly BOYS that were practicing the "gag for fun" game. weird. many Moms also noted that their Dr.'s said it was a boredom/curiosity/self-stimulation fixation that they would eventually grow out of.
i'm honestly not worried about Kai. he'll kick it eventually. i just don't want to clean up any more messes like that...but it's inevitable, there will be more puke in my future, self-induced or not. and if there is such a thing as karma, i'm screwed because i was the kind of puker that never made it to the toilet. i just leaned over the bed and yelled for mom (she reminded me of this yesterday. dangit.).
so yes, this is one part of parenthood that stinks. literally.
now on to something to refresh our minds and cleanse our senses...
i've vowed to visit my side rosebushes a few times a week to trim them down and extract the rose buds that have bloomed and keep them in my house!
good thing my house smells like roses. i have a mess to clean up...
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