the second time around...

i wouldn't call myself a "seasoned" mommy, but i will definitely say that life with a newborn is much easier the second time around.

maybe it's because the initial "shock" of parenthood has already happened, and you are already broken in and know what to expect.

like, you already know you won't sleep much at all those first few weeks. and you know you won't magically pull up those skinny jeans just because you've been breastfeeding your brains out. and you know you don't have to spend every waking second staring at the little life you've birthed just to make sure they are breathing, etc.

i can say that for me (and G!), #2 has been a breeze.

i mean it makes sense. her labor was crazy short and as close to painless as you can get (thank you Jesus for the epidural!). we spent less than 24 hours in the hospital and my recovery was a cinch.

but even more than that, G and i found that the whole parenting part of it--the whole adjustment to a newborn came extremely natural...even in the midst of our red-headed whirlwind of a 2-year old.

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reflecting back to when we had Kai there are some major differences with how we parent Sunny. i guess all of our "practice" on Kai totally paid off (hope he turns out alright! :P)

so here's what has changed the second time around...

1. "routine" went out the door.

i can remember with baby Kai how at first we thought he had to be on this stringent schedule, like, right away (feedings, naps, playtime, etc.) HA! let me just say, our quality of life greatly improved when that went out the window and we stopped trying to "force" routine on him.

with Sunny i'm much more laid-back about the whole breastfeeding bit. i don't keep a "log" of when i feed her, or how long i feed her. i just feed her when she's hungry. some days it's more than others and that's ok. breastfeeding on demand is NOT easy, or convenient...but it is rewarding and keeps the baby at their peak of contentment (and healthy!).

we don't count naps. if she's tired, she falls asleep or we rock her until she falls asleep. we don't put her down and make her cry until sleep comes. we have learned to read her cues and let nature take over. some days she takes awesomely long naps, some days she takes a bunch of cat naps! either way, it's ok.

i like to give Sunny a bath every night (it just seems right when she is in a diaper all day!) but ya know what? if it doesn't happen, it doesn't happen. i don't lose sleep over it. i can remember giving Kai baths at like 11pm because i didn't think he should go to bed "dirty." ha. yeah, life goes on.

2. we co-sleep. and it's ok.

i had Kai in a pack-n-play by my bed until he was 6 months old. i brought him in to bed with me to feed him at night, but rarely let him stay. let me just say that i have learned that i get waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more sleep when Sunny just stays with me. no in and outs, up and downs....just snuggling and feeding and most importantly, sleeping! i know this is a controversial thing, and trust me i have done my research. i'm not a HUGE supporter of the whole attachment parenting way of life, some if it seems a bit extreme...but some of it makes complete sense. i guess that's what is cool about being your OWN kind of parent....you get to pick and choose.

i look forward to going to bed and snuggling with Sunny. especially with me back to work I really crave that time with her. it's like our special time. i can't imagine doing it any different right now. and NO, she won't be in our bed forever. it just feels right for now and i'm going with it!

3. we go, and go and go some more!

with Kai i kind of slowly worked my way up to running errands and taking trips.

shoot. with Sunny i was going, going, going from week 1. i had her in the baby bjorn right away, and i'm glad i did because she loves it and it is my saving grace when we are out and about and i need my hands and arms. she comes to the weekly "Kai and Mommy" park date, she comes to story hour at the library, she comes to Walmart (unfortunately), etc. because i've gotten her out she is well-adjusted and will let just about anybody snuggle her and give strangers in line behind us big ol' smiles.

i'm sure there are more, but those are the main things.

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it's crazy when you think about being a parent...and being responsible for RAISING an actual PERSON. but honestly, i think too many first-time parents think too hard. i know at times we did.

yes, i believe that all children need to be parented differently, just as no two children are the same. what works for one child may not work for the next, and so on.

the biggest thing i have learned is that no book, blog, article, mother-in-law, friend or parenting guru has the magical solution to a healthy, happy baby. only you. only mommy and daddy. but too often we reject what comes natural to us a parents in lieu of what has worked for someone else, or what we read in a bestselling book.

i have learned in my humble 3 years of motherhood that i don't need a book. i just need to relax, let things happen, say a prayer for strength and discernment and cherish every day i have because tomorrow tmy sweet baby is one day older and one day bigger and one day closer to walking out the door to kindergarden...

i have learned that there is no magic parenting formula.

all you need to do is listen and love.

it is then, when you will hear what your baby needs and wants and routine will not be forced, but simply fall into place.