"It's lonely in timeout. But, it feels better when I come out and get a hug from brother." (Sunny)

I loved this particular quote from Sunny.

She occupies the "calm down" chair more than her siblings, that is for sure; so she knows the feeling of being there well. The "chair" is located out of kid-friendly territory in the corner of our guest bedroom, so it has a remote feel to it--but it has provided adequate "thinking" time to our sweet but fiery and frequently disgruntled preschooler.

What I love most about my strong willed three year old's words is how she says "it feels better" when she gets a "hug from brother." She knows the drill--after having some quality contemplation in the silence of the cold and lonely fourth bedroom, either me or G goes in and gets down on eye level with her to make sure that: 1) she understands why she's there, and 2) she is calm and hopefully, sorry.

Once we have assessed the situation and have determined that she is no longer a physical or emotional hazard to her siblings or cousins or friends, we walk her out of the room and straight to the individual whom she has hurt (usually physical but sometimes emotional). We then encourage her to look the victim in the eyes (that it key) and offer a genuine apology and then a hug. SHE is the one who then hugs her brother or sister--but notice what she said...what makes her feel better is that her brother (or sister) HUGS HER BACK.

Forgiveness is not something that is said, it is something that is felt. 

Sunny may not completely comprehend the idea of "forgiveness" in her young developing brain, but she certainly identifies that she is receiving something kind from the person she just, moments ago, kicked in the head.

When we get love or forgiveness or a second chance that we feel undeserving of, it feels just like that.

Like your arms reaching out, hesitantly at first, to a dear friend or sister or child or husband that you have hurt, and then the warmth of their arms wrapping right back around you.

When was the last time you felt grace with words?

We receive grace when we feel accepted, received, hugged back. 

And we give grace when we lift our arms and just hold on.