perpetual messes and forever hope...

It's peaceful now. 

Kai's down for his afternoon nap, the television is off, the windows are open and the only sounds are the breeze whistling through the screen and the occasional hum of 10th Avenue traffic.

I always often take time to put my house back together once Kai gives in to sleep. It's amazing how a seven-month old can create such disarray when he doesn't even walk (or really crawl for that matter). It's his dang Elmo walker. It gets him pretty much anywhere he wants to go...I guess it's good practice for us for when he starts toddling around on his own.

Even now, after my quick "clean-up" efforts there are signs of Kai everywhere.

A yellow spatula under the chair, the blanket pulled off the back of the rocker, a sprinkle of potting soil to the left of one of the plants, G's keys on the rug, little finger smudges on the sliding door...a little sock here, a damp bib over there (maybe my cleaning efforts need some re-evaluating?!).

He's all over the place. 

And just when I put things back together, and restore some kind of order...

I turn my back and it's crooked, dirty, wet, smeared, spilled, knocked over, chewed on.....

He's left his mark on just about everything in this house. Including me (squash AND formula on my black workout pants as we speak).

source

Just as I see traces of Kai on my floors, my furniture, my clothes and my walls,

so I see traces of God....

in the tiny green buds of springtime,

in the sunrise, 

in tight hugs from children, 

in smiles from strangers,

in thoughtful texts from old friends, 

in a sleepy kiss from G, 

in the selflessness of a good teacher,

in the cheerful bird chorus from backyard trees, 

in confusion 

and frustration 

and tears 

and stress...

He's there.

Even when I choose not to see Him..

Whispering, waiting

ever-present, ever-forgiving, all-knowing...

offering me strength to tackle another day of life's messes with {joy}.

I can never escape from Your Spirit! I can never get away from Your presence! If I go up to heaven, You are there; if I go down to the grave, You are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there Your hand will guide me, and Your strength will support me.  

Psalms 139:7-10