motherhood.

If one feels the need of something grand, something infinite,

something that makes one feel aware of God, one need not go far to find it.

I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean

in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning

and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle.Vincent van Gogh

That is really one of the most important life lessons becoming a Mommy has taught me:

slow down.

delight in the little things.

savor sweet moments....

don't let them slip away unnoticed due to YOUR busy schedule.

I won't lie, the initial adjustment into parenthood is not an easy one. You don't really think about how much the obvious changes will effect you right away, but oh, they do.

Like naps. You no longer have the luxury to just lay down and fall asleep whenever you feel like it. Nope, but I sure enjoyed that for 25 years...

And then there are last minute plans. Most of the time it's such a hassle lining up a babysitter and packing up ALL of the neccesary items for baby that unless there is ample notice, it's hardly worthwhile.

It also becomes much more difficult to maintain a clean house. Not only because you are more tired than you've ever imagined you could be, but because you literally have to choose what to clean with the time you have...and most often, there is just not enough time (and energy) to get all the way caught up.

But motherhood has taught me to loosen up and relax the structured, planned, orderly life I'd lived for so long. And in doing so, I have discovered that in my years of keeping constantly busy with work, school, me, me, and more me I have inevitably missed a great deal.

Kai's wonder at life in it's smallest of forms has enabled me to recieve a new kind of joy.

A simple, pure appreciation for God's everyday gifts that are often overlooked.

like the way raindrops slide down the window pane, molding into one another as they roll down the glass...

the sounds different toys make as they clang and clatter into pots and pans...

how heavenly the softness of a fleece blanket right out of the dryer feels on cold skin...

how perfect it feels to just pause in the midst of a hectic day to let someone

hold onto you

with all of their warmth and trust and love.

source

It's in those moments I let my "to-do" list fall to the floor and just

smile, snuggle, and rock.