tired tuesday...

today could have been better.

i couldn't sleep last night. kai was up several times, and "up, up" at 6am. just as i fell FAST asleep while he was taking his morning nap his cries filled the monitor.

so. tired.

i trudged out to my messy kitchen and fed Kai the rest of his potato and broccoli for lunch and realized that i could not put off grocery shopping for one more day. i hosed him off (he was COVERED in broccoli bits and liquid turkey {gross!}) and got dressed. in my "fat pants" (that felt tight today, by the way) and bundled baby boy up for another dreaded trip to the local walmart.

i pull into the zoo of a parking lot and notice that it was PACKED...like, more so than usual. there were floods of people going in and out, every which way...i glanced down at my blackberry to check the date. sure enough, it's the first of the month. great. oh well. i'm already there, so i prepare for battle. it's what i get for putting it off, i guess.

i park in the far corner of the gargantuan parking lot,  rows away from all of the other cars, but close to a cart deposit. it's quiet where i park. away from the traffic and people. just me and kai and the blowing garbage. i pull kai out of his carseat and notice he's got dried food in his nostrils and around the creases of his nose. wonderful.

i see my reflection in the window of the closed car door and realize i haven't done my hair since, well, i can't remember. woops. oh well.

my cart was rickety and loud. kai kept touching the handle, and then putting his fingers in his mouth. he literally ate my shopping list. i bought a few random things, like dog toys and baby socks and i waited in line for longer than it took to get my groceries.

i came home, cold and feeling like i needed to soak in a hot soapy tub with kai to a {still} dirty kitchen.

i gave honey her toy and her over-the-top reaction reminded me of how long it's been since i've bought her a special toy or treat, and made me feel sad for how much {less} of me she gets now that kai has moved into the first chair and she has been demoted to second fiddle.

 i actually had tears.

i started our taxes. sorted through bills. made {strong} coffee (at 4:50pm).

i got a surprise visit from one of my besties {smile}.

kai was fussier than usual. like the "can't be put down" kind of fussy.

i fed him dinner, bathed him and then finally snuck away to the gym to do a little bit of cardio and teach my yoga class (where i think i lost myself in an overly long final relaxation pose).

that was my day.

tiring. ordinary. frustrating. overwhelming.

the kind of day that made me want to just pick up and move to costa rica (the book i'm reading says that costa rica inhabitants are among the happiest on earth).

the kind of day that made me long for summer.

a new season. light. warmth. change.

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as i conclude this day, i am thankful for tomorrow.

thankful for peace and quiet {for now} where i can shut my eyes and put this day to rest.

thankful that i'm not beyond the reach of God's grace.

thankful for hope.

thankful for a brand new day and for HIS joy which rises in me,

 right along with the morning sun.