You quickly become overwhelmed with feeding, changing, bathing, cleaning, organizing, wiping, dressing, laundry, trying to sleep and trying even harder to adjust and keep that little person breathing, healthy, and most of all {happy}....
and for at least the first few days...maybe weeks....you often end up neglecting things you never dreamed you would such as your hygeine, appearance, beloved pets and even the (dare I say!) spouse.
The second that Kai came into our lives SO many things changed. Including our marriage. It's taken some adjustment on the good ol' relationship front, but we have ebbed and flowed nicely with the drastic life-change and I believe we have come out stronger, definitely healthier and a whole lot happier.
Sure, we can't up and spend a weekend in Seattle at the drop of a dime, we can't hit the town on a slow Friday night on a whim...but we CAN keep that flame burnin' bright in our marriage behind our tired eyes and drool/spit-up/poop stained clothes.
It hasn't come without adjustment, but here's, in a nutshell, how:
1. USE those babysitters!!!!!
It took me awhile to feel comfortable calling people up to take Kai for an hour or two so I could go to the gym or go shopping, or so G and I could go to dinner and/or a movie....but now, it's neccesary. I've learned that family wants and LOVES to spend time with your little bundle of joy and as new parents you, by all means should take advantage of that! Take a nap, go burn some calories, or most importantly get some quality one-on-one time with your man!!! Maybe you don't have family at your disposal...ask a trusted friend, maybe they have a little one and you guys can trade off for date nights?! You won't be sorry you asked...
2. Early bedtime, anyone?!
Kiddos need sleep...and lots of it. Studies show that they should sleep for up to 15 hours a day! Establish a bedtime that gives you and your man some consitant alone and unwind time. You'll be better parents, better friends, and better lovers if you get some time for yourselves each day. There are days I look forward to this time all day long (as much as I LOVE being a Mommy, some days are hard!!) Early bedtime for you kid(s) is a courtesy to them, and you!
3. Be {spontaneously} sweet.
Make an extra effort to surprise your spouse with something thoughtful--especially in those early days when baby demands SO much of the attention. Send a sweet text, buy a thoughtful little gift, snuggle on the couch, tell them what a great Mom/Dad they are and what a good job they are doing. I guarantee, if you make a point to tell your spouse that you appreciate them, you love them and a reason why you are grateful for them at least once a day that {spark} will NOT be doused by baby invasion...
4. Parent together.
I think sometimes Daddy's get left out...especially in those early days of baby (and even more so if Mommy breast feeds!) Make sure that you designate "Daddy" baby-related tasks, too! For example, while I am doing Kai's bedtime routine (bath, lotion, diaper, book) Gary re-fills his humidifier and makes a bottle so I can put him to bed. It's fun to partner in parenting. "Parent together" also means making sure you are on the same page about things such as early bedtime, feeding schedules, discipline, etc. As Jack Johnson sings, It's always better when we're together...
5. Above all else, have FUN!
Be silly. Make sleepless nights and zombie-like days funny. Laugh together at a shirt sleeve covered in spit-up, make silly faces and crazy baby noises TOGETHER. I'm not going to lie, being a parent can be tough at times, but laugh and love your way through the madness!
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| this is how Gary likes to wear his britches when he's washin' the dishes....! |
Parenting is work.
Both are a work in progress, but I'd say we definitely got the "fun" part down...
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